Tuesday, April 14, 2020

Plague Update #16 - Things Are Getting Better, Except Where They're Getting Worse

Well things have got serious in Tasmania, they've called in the army and AusMAT.  If you don't know what AusMAT is, its a multidiscipline medical team deployed by the Australian government, usually to third world countries in response to a disaster.  Nepal in 2005, the Solomon Islands in 2013 and now Tasmania in 2020.  Tasmania's health system is teetering on the brink of collapse.  That's nothing to do with COVID-19, according to my correspondent it has been for years.  However the shutting down of two hospitals serving approximately 22% of the population certainly isn't helping.  Neither is the fact that most of the people currently infected actually worked at the hospitals in question; hence the need for army medics and AusMAT.

With his state's back up against the wall the Tasmanian premier went straight to the major issues in his press briefing this morning taking most of it to deny that the outbreak was assisted by an illegal dinner party attended by medical staff.  To be fair most of the questions were around that as well.  I don't know if anybody bothered to ask about death rates or the government response but the premier tossed in mentions of the army and AusMAT more or less as an afterthought.  I tried to get more information on this from my correspondent but she is currently preparing her children for home schooling.  The first subject on the curriculum was "How to perform surgery on yourself".

But there is good news coming out of America.  In Florida professional wrestling has been deemed an "essential service" and will carry on in the coming weeks.  Also good in a very disturbing way is the fact that the various lockdowns around the country mean that March was the first month since 2002 without a school shooting.  I'm starting to have more sympathy for Americans who home school their children by choice.

Back in Australia our health professionals have warned people not to take medical advice from celebrities on social media.  One would hope that this isn't the sort of thing that needs to be said but apparently it is.  I can't help thinking that people who source their medical advice from instagram are probably among those the world can do without at a pinch.  Still I shall dutifully obey the commands of our nations top health experts and cease my current self treatment of garlic rubs, cupping, ritual scarification and burning flu medication in a brazier so that the ensuing smoke drives off evil vapours.  I didn't get that advice from social media but from my Belarusian tech support.  For context the president of Belarus has point blank refused to take any preventative measures saying that no one will die of COVID-19 in his country, so there.  This may be true if only because there are so many other things the population are likely to die of first.

In the parts of Australia that aren't Tasmania infection rates appear to be slowly dropping which is very good news.  Such good news in fact that people are already asking when the restrictions will be lifted.  The government isn't committing itself and the restrictions look to stay in place for the forseeable future (which for the government is about a week).  This is a bit of a difficult one for the government; lift the restrictions too early and they will be crucified if there is a spike in infections and/or deaths.  If they linger people will start muttering about the enhanced police powers and surveillance we're all currently under.  Besides, if they lift the restrictions they'll have to do without the enhanced police powers and surveillance.

Did you know that cruise ships have black boxes?  Apparently this is so that if the cruise ship crashes the ship crash investigators can find out if the captain was drunk or something.  NSW police have laid hands on the black box from the Ruby Princess the cruise ship which practically singlehandedly caused our coronavirus outbreak as part of an ongoing investigation into what the hell happened.  There are dark mutterings of deception and concealment of illness but I rather suspect it will turn out to be simple incompetence.  This is what happens when things are managed by people who could accidentally slit their own throat with Occams Razor.

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