Plague Update #14 - Antisocial Isolation

It was only yesterday that I was boasting to my fuzzy puffin plush toy that social distancing and general isolation hadn't really caused me too much distress.  In response the puffin pointed out that yesterday I actually went for a jog, cleaned my kitchen and, oh yes, I was talking to a fucking puffin.  So maybe the social distancing is impacting me a little (although the number of people prepared to get within a metre of me even at the best of times is in single digits).

I honestly think the puffin was exaggerating a little.  Yes I went jogging and ok I cleaned the kitchen, or at least the most easily accessible parts of the kitchen but normal people do that all the time.  As for talking to a puffin, well what am I supposed to do?  I can hardly talk to the teddy bear I had as a child, that would just be weird.

I like to think I'm handling this enforced separation from my fellow humans quite well.  Since I talk to myself incessantly my communications skills have hardly suffered.  At least my puffin assures me that I'm as eloquent as ever.  I'm not making a lot of sense but according to him I rarely did anyway.  My parents, startled by the news that I wasn't already dead, offered to mail me a cat for company.  This was a kind gesture but the pigeons on my balcony have now reached such a critical mass that I doubt any cat would survive twenty four hours.

Meanwhile it is becoming increasingly apparent how we're going to pay for all of the massive stimulus packages that have been announced.  So far nearly a million dollars has been levied in fines on people breaking the social distancing and self isolation laws.  If it keeps up like this COVID-19 is going to be the world's first self funding virus.

Infection figures countrywide have been dropping which is encouraging but they're due for a bit of a spike tomorrow when the Australian passengers from an Antarctic cruise ship fly home from Uruguay.  Apparently about 70% of the ships passengers have the virus.  Cruise ships have really been the floating petri-dishes of this infection.  Who would have thought that gathering a group of people together in a confined space with no means of escape (unless you're a really good swimmer) could lead to the spread of disease.  Given this and the average age of cruise passengers I'm amazed any cruise ship actually returned to port with a live passenger even before the outbreak.

Something else of note is the dramatic drop in pollution levels that has occurred as a result of people literally being unable to pollute.  Indians can see the actual colour of the sky, in Venice the water is clean enough to piss into and in Manila the air can no longer be used as a weapon to bludgeon opponents to death.  Certain smug environmentalist types are quite gleeful about all this but more sensible environmentalists are actually a little concerned.

Firstly of course, once this is all over everybody will gear up to try and recover lost production so pollution is likely to explode and with many countries in parlous economic straits after the lockdowns they're even less likely to be concerned with environmental impacts along the way.  The second impact is a more subtle one.  By pointing out the drop in pollution levels you are implying that this is what we need to do to get pollution levels down.  If people believe that economic collapse and social isolation are the price for saving the environment then it is quite likely that they will simply decide not to do it.

In the meantime though the mutated dolphin things in the Mediterranean can frolic in the suddenly not quite as filthy water.  It would be ironic if they've adapted so well to the pollution that they can't live without it.