Sunday, August 12, 2012

The Lethargy of the Long Distance Blogger

I was supposed to run the City to Surf today, I really was.  I collected my race pack, rose at a ridiculously early hour, showered, breakfasted and changed into my running clothes.  Then I looked at the weather.  I could have saved myself all that effort if I had just looked at the weather the moment I woke up.  If I had done that it is entirely possible I wouldn't have got out of bed at all.  Now I'm sitting in the cafe with a mixed feeling of guilt and relief hoping the weather gets worse to fully justify my decision not to run.  Naturally that will make it tougher on those hardy souls who did run but they all have to make sacrifices don't they.  Besides, imagine the sense of achievement they'll get from completing the run in a blizzard.  Who am I to deny them that?

Since I told most of my friends and family I was competing you might think I would feel a certain amount of embarrassment at admitting I didn't.  If so you don't know me terribly well.  Besides most of my loved ones were surprised I entered at all, the fact that I piked out at the last minute will surprise no one at all.  And yet I feel a certain amount of disappointment in myself, particularly since the weather has improved somewhat since I woke up.

Still, I shall bear that disappointment with the stoicism to be expected of someone who almost ran the City to Surf.  None shall know of the inner pain caused by my lack of activity.  Not a whimper shall escape my tightly pressed lips.  No word shall...Oh who am I kidding?  I'm glad for an excuse not to do it.  I shall relish every stolen moment and glory in my unexpected inactivity.

Exercise is something I feel I should do rather than something I want to do.  As such it is very easy to persuade me not to do it.  So easy in fact that I frequently manage it without assistance.  Now I come to think about it not doing exercise is one of the few things I can accomplish on my own.  I recently called an electrician to check why most of my lights don't work.  His advice can be summarised as, "try to be more careful changing the bulbs in future".  To his credit he didn't actually charge me very much for saying this.  Now at least some of my lights work.

Anybody who thinks they are truly independent should answer two questions.  Did you kill the food you're eating and did you make the clothes you're wearing?  I personally require so much external support its possible I should be reclassified as a parasitic organism.  I don't even generate my own chlorophyll.

Despite my uselessness at the simplest of tasks (I can't even build a pyramid without help) I can proudly and forthrightly take ownership of my lack of exercise.  Oh wait a minute, if it wasn't for the fact that the friend I was running the City to Surf with pulled out at the last minute I probably would have done it.  Apparently I can't even be lazy without assistance.