Whatever Happens, Democracy was Something or Other

The trouble with this country is we hang too many parliaments and not enough politicians. I'm not even going to pretend that's an original sentiment but it encapsulates the opinion of the electorate pretty well. I, like fourteen million odd other Australians, exercised my democratic right over the weekend and my conclusion is that some of those Australians are very odd indeed. I had the joyful task of choosing between a man I rather like espousing policies I despise and I woman I distrust espousing policies I probably despise slightly less than the others but that's ok because I doubt if they will ever implement any. The people spoke on Saturday and the rough translation is "Huh!". Julia Gillard made a not quite concession speech and Tony Abbott a not quite victory one. They could probably have swapped scripts without anyone noticing too much.

Now both parties are going to have to kiss up to various independents to form a minority government. Do we gain anything from a minority government? Yes, we get politicians who are nervous and eager to please. This is a good thing, it will make them more responsive to the wishes of the electorate. Or at least the wishes of those electorates with independent MPs. Or possibly its a bad thing because the absolute terror of upsetting anybody is why both parties went to the election representing themselves as having the personality of wallpaper paste.

A plague on both your houses (now that one is original I thought of it myself). The greatest fear now is that the governor general will bang their heads together and tell them to go and do it again and this time get it right. Am I prepared to put up with three years of incompetent, insecure government governed by the whims of a handful of independents, completely unable to make any sort of future plans for fear of a no confidence motion in order to avoid voting again? Yes, yes in the name of god, yes. I can't see much difference between that and an incompetent insecure government with a thumping majority governed by the whims of a handful of marginals and completely unable to make any sort of future plans due to simple inadequacy.

Meanwhile the world goes on. It will be a little awkward explaining to the Americans that the woman who replaced the guy they knew is now trying to persuade a group of rural socialists (don't bitch Katter you know that's what you are) that a moderate left wing party with no ideas is better than a right wing party with no brains. I can't help thinking about the American politician who gently warned his colleagues when they were taking their time writing the US constitution. "It might be wise to hurry up gentlemen, before the public learn that they can do very well without us". Most of the government runs on autopilot anyway. Italy hasn't had a properly functioning government since 476AD and while it might not be the best run place on earth it hasn't actually sunk into the sea.

Why is it that farmers manage to be conservatives and at the same time demand a level of government intervention that would make Karl Marx blanch? Both parties have the choice of negotiating with up to three rural socialists and one urban socialist courtesy of the Greens. Whatever happens the Greens hold the balance of power in the senate which means that nothing can get done without their say so unless both major parties vote together. I'm not the first person to suggest this but possibly the Labor party and the Liberal party could form a coalition and then tell everybody else to go to hell. Everybody has made much of the Greens success in this election. They got about 11% of the primary vote. Informal got 5.5%, surely that means that Informal should have a few senate seats as well.

To put our little spat into perspective the Nepalese parliament has just had its fifth attempt to elect a prime minister without success. The leader of the Maoist party got the most votes but not the necessary three hundred. As Australia staggers towards a new political paradigm with little hope and less expectation may I be the first to make a suggestion. It looks like Wycliff Jean is not going to able to stand for president of Haiti after all. Is it too late to shoehorn him into one of our political parties? And if not him maybe the Nepalese can spare a politician or two.