Give Me Dopamine

I had fully intended to write a superb blog entry today.  It would have been a blog entry for the ages. There would have been romance, existential angst and a bold challenging of the nature of civilisation itself. Think Jane Austin meets Kafka meets Joseph Conrad.  Then I realised I would do better pitching it as a sitcom to CBS.

So instead we have the usual collection of half baked idea, irrelevant tangents and dubious assumptions cemented together with increasingly laboured attempts at humour.  At least it will make a change from the after action reports which seem to be littering this blog in increasing numbers.  And speaking of which I have a confession to make; this blog entry exists only because I have another AAR to write and I didn't want to post two in a row.

I have to admit that I'm a little concerned that my blog is morphing into a gamers blog by stealth.  The first AAR I wrote was largely a joke to see if I could do it but since that time they've been relentlessly expanding their territory.  At least I haven't quite got to the point of writing impassioned fifteen thousand word essays on the merits of one particular type of counter clipper over another.

So why continue to write the AARs you ask.  At least I imagine you asking just as I imagine you reading this blog entry in the first place.  I have a rich but oddly specific fantasy life.  The answer is; the hits.  More people read the AARs than any of the other entries I post.  For those bloggers with a vast following this probably doesn't matter as much but I get terribly excited every time there are more hits on a blog entry than I possess immediate family.  It's like a shot of dopamine straight to my brain.  Actually it is a shot of dopamine straight to my brain.  I'm not quite sure whether to be depressed at how wretchedly sad my life is or grateful that I'm so easy to please.

So the AARs stay as they are helping to provide a tiny bit of validation in my life.  My friends say I should get out more, meet people or at least wash and put some clothes on.  Perhaps they're right.  If I met people I might be able to persuade them to read my blog.  Come on, Daddy needs his dopamine.