Travelling Hopefully - Mud, Blood & Leech Socks

Of course there was more to the nature lodge than just orangutans.  What jungle adventure would be complete without leeches?  On the evening we arrived we were given the option of going on a nighttime jungle walk.  Heady with the success of our first river cruise where we had seen monkeys of various stripes, a water monitor and a mother orangutan nursing its young we agreed without hesitation.  I'm not saying we expected to see a clouded leopard but after the river cruise we wouldn't have been surprised.

To avoid unnecessary suspense let me state right now that we did not see a clouded leopard.  Our guide has done this work for sixteen years and is a local lad into the bargain.  He has seen clouded leopards on precisely four occasions in that time.  We had signed up drunk with optimism but were quickly sobered when we were asked if we'd like to hire gumboots.  Dan mentioned that he had purchased a pair of spanking new hiking boots for just such an occasion.  Wordlessly Amanda and I pointed to the mud level on the gumboots for hire.  We hired the gumboots.

Now that we were reeling the nature lodge went in for the kill, "Would we like to purchase leech socks?"  At this point we would probably have purchased chainmail if they had it.  Suddenly the jungle seemed a scary place comprising 40% mud and 60% leeches (a description that is only inaccurate in the percentages).  We were advised to wear long sleeves, Amanda didn't have any long sleeves.  Dan and I privately wrote her off as dead at that point.  A random American joined briefly.  In fact he joined us for just long enough for him to regale us with stories of how his brother had done the walk yesterday and had staggered out of the jungle more leech than man.  After that the American wandered away possibly in response to the intense "fuck off" vibe he was getting from all three of us.

So what was the night jungle walk like?  Imagine a sauna, fill it to a depth of twelve to eighteen inches of mud, throw in far too many plants, scatter leeches to taste and turn off the lights.  Also for the full experience you would have to source civet cats, a slow loris and a tiny but incredibly cute (and apparently quite rare) ghost monkey.  Also on the way back we encountered wild pigs.  His hunting instincts aroused Dan plunged after them and Amanda had to yank very hard on his chain to keep him on the path.  Also nobody got any leeches.

Despite this introduction to the jungle we agreed to go on a longer walk the next day.  The jungle during the day is rather like the jungle at night only better lit.  Again we pulled on our doughty leech socks and I traded my gumboots for a pair that didn't have a huge crack in them then we set off through the jungle.  Pretty soon sweat was pouring off me in such quantities that any leech trying its luck was in danger of drowning.

We were told we were unlikely to see any animals during the day and this turned out to be correct.  I did see a leech though, it was in the process of wrapping itself around my finger.  I shook it off however a closer look determined that the "off" component of that statement had failed to occur.  I shook my hand more violently and the leech went flying into the mud.  At least I presume it was the mud, Dan was standing quite close to me and had no idea why I was jerking my hand about so violently.  Not wanting to concern him I just let him think I had a nervous twitch.

Our guide attempted to take our minds off our imminent death from heat exhaustion but pointing out the medicinal qualities of various plants, most of them seemed to be gynaecological in nature.  Eastern Sabah must have the lowest infant mortality rate in the world.

We collapsed gasping at our destination, a beautiful oxbow lake currently connected to the river thanks to recent rains.  Our guide gazed at our recumbent forms; "would we like him to call a boat to pick us up?"
Our reaction was pitiful, we threw ourselves at his feet pleading nay, weeping for the boat.  The boat could only reach us because the water was so high and we eased and bumped our way along a narrow waterway with overhanging branches and semi submerged logs until we made it bank to the river.

Once back at the lodge I removed my gumboots and discovered a leech industriously but unsuccessfully trying to burrow its way through my leech sock.  I took a photo then Dan hit it with insect repellent and I applied a cigarette lighter and we wound up with the world's deadest leech.  Incidentally has anyone else noticed that the human love of animals is highly conditional?  Substitute the phrase "baby panda" for leech in the preceding and I'm sure everyone would be appalled.