Travelling Eventually

I should have taken the bus.  AirAsia managed to get me from Sydney to Brunei as close to on time as makes no difference.  Royal Brunei on the other hand can't even shift me the forty odd minutes to Kota Kinabalu without a five hour delay.  The cause of the delay was apparently "technical issues" a delightfully broad term that can mean anything from "we don't actually own any aircraft but we're negotiating to hire a local crop duster's Cessna" all the way to "the pilot has locked himself in the cabin with a shotgun and is demanding we bring him a bottle of vodka and a shaved orangutan in a bikini."

To make matters worse I had swapped my last cigarette for a lift to the airport in what seemed like a good deal at the time.  It really wasn't, cigarettes are another thing you can't buy in Brunei at least, not legally.  Smoking isn't illegal, just selling cigarettes.  If you somehow manage to source cigarettes then feel free to smoke them.  As long as it's not in daytime hours during Ramadan of course.

People say the Sultan of  Brunei is a very pious man and I'm sure that's true but I wonder if religion is the only reason for these laws.  Back when it was discovered that Brunei was sitting on an ocean of oil bigger than it was the Sultan instituted a number of social welfare initiatives including free (or at least heavily subsidised) healthcare.  At some point an advisor may well have whispered in the Sultan's ear that three of the largest drains on the public health purse come from drinking, smoking and illegal drugs.

"No problem," replied the Sultan.  "We'll kill the junkies, ban alcohol and stop people buying cigarettes."
"How are you going to justify all that?"
"Religion," a quick sideways glance at the Minister for Religious Affairs who hastily thumbs through a Quran before nodding.
"Actually I think we can make that fly your majesty."
"Excellent,  now get your arse down to the airport and see if you can do the same for Royal Brunei.