Save the World, Buy a Bumper Sticker

I just saw a bumper sticker proclaiming "Uranium: Fueling War, Fueling Waste".  This is one of those statements which combines being completely truthful with being utterly stupid.  Plenty of things fuel both war and waste.  Petrol, for example or steel for that matter.  Come to think of it food is another.  I don't think anybody would dispute that consuming food produces waste.  If it doesn't I advise you to see a doctor.  As for war, well every army has to eat.

I think it is time that the hideous war making, filth spreading potential of food was understood by more people.  Peace activists and environmentalists everywhere should unite against this terrible threat to the planet and the people thereon.  Surely it is time for those of us who love peace and the environment (I use the word "us" loosely) to come together to do something about the food menace.  I suggest hackneyed slogans and bumper stickers.

Just think, if all the money spent across the world on food in a single month were instead redirected towards world peace and environmentalism what a difference would be made.  I predict that by the end of that time there would be no more wars and the environment would be set up for centuries to come.  There would be a positive explosion of peace (all right, I admit that was a poor choice of words) and the environment would be so leafy green that even environmentalists would be sick of looking at it.  I encourage everyone to hope and dream of a world without food.

Of course there will always be some who will trot out the usual tired cliches.  "Food doesn't kill people, people who eat kill people" and the like.  These words should be understood for what they are, the secret weapons of the global food industry.  "Cautiously used," these depraved monsters claim, "food can be a positive good".  "In responsible hands, there is nothing to fear".  Lies!  All lies!  As long as there is food in the world there will always be unscrupulous operators willing to sell it to the highest bidder.  Despite the best efforts of responsible food holding nations to limit proliferation rogue states and terrorist groups will always try and get their hands on food to feed their hungry war machines (and people).  North Korea is a nightmare to deal with now.  Imagine what they'd be like if they got their hands on some food.

Arguments in favour of food should be seen for what they are; special pleading by ruthless food traffickers who care nothing for the damage they cause.  These villains hide behind innocuous cover names like "farmers", "supermarkets" and "grocers".  More accurate is the term butcher but view of these villains have the honesty to openly proclaim what they are.  This unholy alliance of food producers and distributors must be broken before the world is flooded with food.  We must act before it is too late.

Forget "food limitation", "responsible use" and other slogans belonging to a corrupt world order.  We must come up with our own, way cooler, slogans and whack them on bumper stickers for maximum exposure.  I know this is an extreme action but there can be no half measures.  It is no use inflicting pinpricks on the enemy, we must unveil the bumper sticker, the mightiest weapon of the protest movement.  With slogans like "Food Fuels War" and "Give Famine a Chance" it won't be long before the food industrial complex lies prostrate at our feet.  Across the world the downtrodden will gain hope as they see our bumper stickers receding into the distance as we drive to somewhere much more interesting.

Only when the food demon has been completely slain will we be able to live without fear.  Admittedly we will only do so briefly.  After that peace truly will be eternal.  It will probably be pretty good for the environment as well.