Efficiency is a Highly Developed Form of Laziness

It appears that more and more students are handing in study papers that consist of large slabs of text they have copied from the internet. This has prompted head shaking, concern and mutters about the dumbing down of our society. Have a little thought for me, I don't know how to download large slabs of text from the internet. That isn't strictly true, I have managed to discover wikipedia which I find to be a fantastic source of dubious information. If anybody is wondering where I get the information for my birthday shout outs wonder no longer. I take the dubiously accurate information from wikipedia, colour it according to my personal prejudices, add to it with stuff I heard from somewhere else or simply made up and post it as my own work. Can I have my PhD now?

People will always cheat. If there is an easy way of doing things they will take it. Is this a bad thing? Not at all. The entire history of human development has been our relentless drive to spend more time sitting around on our collective arses doing nothing. Labour saving devices are called that for a reason. Virtually every bright idea has been had by someone who looked at the way things were being done at the time and said, "Guys, that's way too much like hard work." Indolence, indulgence and buggering about are what built our civilisation. Throughout the ages people have looked at the generally dirty, disease ridden and labour intensive society they occupied and said, "Bugger this, I'm going to cheat."

Oh I suppose a couple of people were genuinely concerned about the human condition and dearly wanted to improve it but most people were just keen to get some extra couch time. Of course this meant inventing couches, televisions and labour laws that allowed us to get home from t'mill in time to watch our favourite shows. Things like Big Brother's Secret Sex Tapes aren't indicative of the decay of our civilisation, they are its apotheosis. Pain free dentistry wasn't invented because of concerns about the well being of patients. It was because dentists got sick of having to physically wrestle their patients into submission. Democracy was invented because people were too lazy to have a revolution. Instead of storming barricades we just wander down to the local school every few years and mark a box. Isn't that an awesome way to change a government? I can see Lenin now, "just mark a box. Why didn't I think of that?" Because you were an idiot Vladimir. You worked and you worked and you worked and what was the result? Stalin.

I could go on but I really couldn't be bothered. There's tennis on the television, a new book on my armchair and porn on the internet. I'm a busy man. As for those plagiaristic little devils don't worry. They'll get caught when they try to use their new credentials and prove to be totally useless. And if they don't get caught obviously plagiarism was good enough. Teachers should be grateful. In twenty years time all they're going to have to do is tell their students how to log on. This too will be progress although I must admit I'm not quite sure where to.

PS. Honesty compells me to admit that I didn't make up the title for this blog. Somebody else (Reg Smythe) did and I just pinched it because it was easier than thinking of a title myself.