Carriage 52704 introduced itself hopefully, dare I say needily, by means of an ingratiating sign placed at eye level in the carriage toilets. This sign anxiously hoped that it was looking its best and urged the reader to report any lapse in the pristine beauty of the carriage toilets to the appropriate authorities. Since the only people who could read this sign were men taking a piss may I suggest that a better way of keeping the immediate environs clean was not to distract us while we’re doing so.
I don’t know if the trains only other carriage had a similar message or if that carriage was more confident in its appearance. ScotRail’s passive aggressive railway carriages weren’t the only example of misplaced signage on display.
Earlier in the morning we had clambered onto the same Viking promoting ferry that had dumped us on the Orkneys a few days earlier. Now it was busily engaged in dragging us back to the coast of Scotland. There was an open to the elements section where passengers could smoke, photograph the scenery or suffer for no reason at all. In a fit of completely unjustifiable optimism the door to this bleak wind and rain swept expanse bore a sign saying “Sun deck”.
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