Friday, October 8, 2021

Plague Update #56 - Yet Another Shot at Freedom Edition

 If you put in the effort you will reap the rewards.  This is one of the lies we are told to persuade us not to be lazy, unproductive burdens on society.  A more accurate term would be; "If you put in the effort you may or may not reap the rewards, perhaps."  As an incentive the second term is a little lacking which is why my state government has been encouraging vaccination and dangling such precious carrots as being able to leave your suburb without attracting police attention.

Well the people of New South Wales have responded, reaching for the needles with an enthusiasm normally reserved for tattooists and heroin addicts.  And, in defiance of those with a cynical view of the world, the rewards are coming.  As of Monday people who have received both vaccination shots will be able to receive a certain number of guests in their homes.  We will be able to travel outside our immediate area (although interstate and regional travel is still a bit iffy) and sit down for a meal in a restaurant or cafe as long as there is a decent distance between them and anyone else trying to do the same thing.

Our new premier announced this relaxation of restrictions with relish while the Chief Health Officer stood beside him biting her tongue and looking hopeful.  In the background the arena slaves dragged away the mutilated body of our previous premier and raked fresh sand over the bloodstains but that's a different story entirely.

Speaking personally this sudden influx of semi-freedom couldn't have come at a better time.  I have exhausted pretty much every interesting walking location within five kilometres and was in serious danger of having to amuse myself.  Yesterday I woke up to find my puffin looking at me speculatively while holding a carving knife.  I suppose it serves me right for passing out on the kitchen floor but it was still a little disturbing.  My real mistake was registering as an organ donor.  Now my plush toys are eager to sell my organs before I damage them further.

My employers joyfully announced that we could once again return to the office unless we didn't actually want to.  So far very few of my colleagues seem inclined to celebrate their freedom by encasing themselves in a concrete and steel prison in the middle of the city.  This "privilege" incidentally is only open to those with their vaccination certificate.  I have such a thing, I just need to figure out how I can get it from the government website it resides on to something I can wave at officious office guards attempting to prevent the diseased from returning to work.  

All of the above freedoms are only available to the vaccinated.  The remainder will have to wallow in their personal plague pits until such times as the rest of society feels comfortable associating with them again.  Speaking personally I'm not sure how comfortable I feel associating with humans again generally regardless of their vaccination status although not being vaxxed will at least give me a plausible reason to avoid them.

In a fit of what I can only term unjustified optimism a number of my acquaintances (I intended to say friends but decided against it on legal advice) are already scanning possible overseas holiday destinations.  I suspect we have a way to go before that becomes a reality.  This will come as some relief to my manager who turned a little pale when I suggested a twelve week holiday in West Africa.  Frankly I would probably take a long weekend in Mudgee right now.

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