Monday, May 4, 2020

Plague Update #20 - Returning to Abnormal

My neighbours have taken up day drinking.  To which I say, "What took you so long?" but also, "Can you please keep the noise down?"  It's hard enough trying to work with a hangover so bad that you spill your breakfast vodka all over the keyboard while simultaneously attempting to struggle out of the puffin themed fetishwear that seemed such a good idea last night.  I did an hours work this morning before I realised I had accidentally logged on to the federal government's travel advisory website by mistake.

Meanwhile some people are starting to get a little tetchy at the lockdown, chief among them is our federal education minister who went on a bit of a rant about the surly refusal of the Victorian government to permit children to go back to school.  The discovery of a COVID case at one of the schools almost immediately afterwards forced the minister to acknowledge that maybe listening to him wasn't a particularly good idea.

Despite a rising tide of infanticide and severe alcohol abuse by parents the Victorian government is standing firm on its decision to continue home schooling for the forseeable future.  Meanwhile up in Queensland the foreseeable future turns out to be about two and a half weeks.  The government of Queensland is hoping to get children back to school by the end of the month which should have the effect of reducing prescription drug abuse on the part of their parents (although the teacher's use is likely to skyrocket).  My own home state is making hopeful noises but as yet hasn't set a date.

The Federal Government texted me this afternoon to suggest I download the COVIDapp.  I can't help thinking that the only purpose behind this app is that it is actually easier to create an entirely new app than to persuade all of the various people tracking our activities and movements to cooperate in a meaningful way.  So far over four million of my fellow countrymen have downloaded the app, I'm hoping to skate through on herd immunity.

Over in New Zealand where they've just reduced their restrictions to the level we raised ours to their prime minister joined my nation's political masters for a virtual meeting of the national cabinet.  The hope (cautiously expressed with many caveats) was that perhaps, if it looks like things are under control, trans Tasman movement may be allowed.  This would be great news to everybody locked in Australia who feels the burning need to go somewhere smaller.

One impact that this lockdown has had on me is that I'm watching more television.  Principally I'm watching Asian dating shows and Kpop video clips.  This isn't really by choice its just that that is what happens to be on television before episodes of Takeshi's Castle which is one of those "let's grab a bunch of harmless citizens and torture them to death" style Japanese game shows.  I am getting disturbingly attached to this program which is a bit of a problem since they stopped making it several years ago.  Possibly they ran out of contestants.  Anyway the show starts in ten minutes so its time to stop writing and see if General Tanith can lead his troops to victory over the malevolent Takeshi.

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