The Human Race is Saved

Cockroaches like coffee.  Believe me you don't want to know how I discovered this but it's true.  It also has to be admitted that this discovery while personally rather icky was also very reassuring in a general sense.  Why is it so reassuring that cockroaches like coffee?  Read on (I'm sure you're desperate to know).

Some time ago I wrote a blog entry in which I posited that creatures like rats, pigeons and cockroaches ruled the world.  Of all of these the cockroaches are definitely top dog (well top cockroach really).  I also mentioned that I was a little concerned about what might happen if we displeased our chitinous overlords.  Now I feel as though a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders.  We have a purpose; we have value; we are baristas to the cockroaches.

All right, some might argue that this is a pretty poor ambition for any self respecting species to have but we can do all of the "building a glittering civilisation to last through the ages as a beacon to future generations" crap in our spare time.  Just as long as we get the coffee right.  For every architect, surgeon, engineer and reality television star guiding us on our journey to enlightenment (some admittedly by showing us what not to do) there must be coffee artisans brewing liquid salvation for the human race.  These gentle heroes run interference for our entire species ensuring that the rest of us can continue with our lives without fearing cockroach inspired doom.

There is a tendency to mock coffee culture and the increasing sophistication and pretentiousness associated with what is, when all is said and done, little more than hot flavoured water.  However such a view is short sighted at best.  Think of it instead as honing a craft which will keep us alive for centuries to come.  No more will we have to fear the displeasure of our lords and masters not while we're the only species that can make a decent soy latte (and I threw up a little into my mouth just typing those words).

The most favoured slave is the one with an irreplaceable talent.  As our coffee skills improve we shall rise higher and higher in the opinion of those that rule us.  Sins will be forgiven, liberties excused just as long as we can continue to pleasure the cockroaches palate with ever more delicious coffee.  And let's face it, if we live in a world ruled by cockroaches we should probably be glad that it's only their palates that we need to pleasure.