I think I'm being stalked by Jesse's Girl. That damned song seems to follow me everywhere. I can't turn on a radio or a music video channel without Jesse's Girl leaping out and assaulting me. I swear even if I turned on Hundred Greatest Hip Hop Songs the very first thing I'd hear is Jesse's Girl. It's even found its way onto my iPod which is strange because I don't recall adding it.
If I were to undertake a journey of thousands of miles, cross some of the most hostile terrain in the world and finally after months of suffering and tribulation drag myself to the summit of a snow capped mountain at the end of the world so I could hear words of wisdom from the guru dwelling there I swear I would hear Jesse's Girl blaring at me from the old bastard's cave.
It's not as though I even particularly like the song. It's a pathetic, snivelling moan about the fact that the singer's best friend has actually got himself a life while all the singer can do is apparently leech on someone elses. It would appear that finding a girlfriend of his own is just a little bit beyond him. Frankly one wonders if he even wants to. Personally I think this obsession with things of and pertaining to Jesse has more than slight homoerotic overtones. It isn't Jesse's girl the singer is in love with, its Jesse himself. Should the girl ever dump Jesse I'm sure the singer won't give her a second thought. As a matter of fact dumping Jesse might be a good idea because if she doesn't pretty soon she's going to be confronted by an hysterical song writer screaming "Stay away from my man".
None of which explains why the song is following me around. All I can say is it better back off right now because if it doesn't Jesse is going to get a very informative email from me.
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