Friday, May 18, 2012

Freeze to an Unbelievable Level is Coming

The sun is shining, the day is cold and crisp.  It is a perfect Winter's day.  The only problem is, it isn't Winter.  Officially we still have a few weeks of Autumn or, as our American cousins insist on calling it, Fall.  As season names go it has the advantage of brevity but I don't understand why the Americans didn't go the whole hog and rename the other seasons Burn, Freeze and Grow respectively.  Possibly because college students would feel like idiots going to Cancun on Grow Break.  And would Donna Summer have been quite so popular if her name was Donna Burn?

This is the sort of question that occupies my mind when I should be studying for my AML diploma.  The only time my mind thinks about AML is when I'm boring others who have absolutely no interest in the topic.  Hopefully my exam will be in the format of a conversation with the disinterested.

Still, I wouldn't mind calling Summer, Burn.  The only problem with naming the seasons like this is that it becomes a little too location specific.  Burn, Fall, Freeze and Grow might be fine for the United States and parts of Europe but the equivalent in Antarctica would be Freeze, Freeze More, Freeze to an Unbelievable Level and Still Freeze but with Penguins Hatching.  This would probably become annoying after a while.

Speaking of penguins has anybody noticed that emperor penguins are the only southern hemisphere animal to travel south for the Winter?  Apparently the coastline of Antarctica just isn't cold, bleak and desolate enough for them.  I can actually understand the rationale behind this.  If you can adapt to living in a frozen hell (and bits of Hell are frozen, just ask Dante) then predators and competitors for the local food supply are likely to be few and far between.  Although so is the local food supply.

Personally I think penguins should have stuck to more temperate climes.  Yes; the competition would have been fiercer but any bird that can adapt to living in the antarctic can surely adapt to this.  All it would have to do is grow bigger, fiercer, faster and get some serious teeth and claws.  Oh wait a minute.  Some penguins did do that only when they did it we started calling them tigers.

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