Monday, March 28, 2011

It's A Great Time to be Deaf

One hears fascinating conversations nowadays. In days gone by people used to have quiet conversations as befitted something that was supposed to be private. In those days an eavesdropper was a wretched furtive soul who lurked at keyholes and pressed a glass up against the wall. A grubby raincoat was implied even if not actually worn.

Nowadays an eavesdropper is anyone who just happens to be in the general vicinity of the conversation whether they want to be one or not. I have just finished eating dinner at a cafe (no not Satellite, it isn't open in the evenings). The pasta was delicious and the conversation was fascinating. Not my conversation, I was dining alone, I mean the conversation of the two women at the table next to me. For half an hour I was regaled with the story of a third woman's collection of drug addictions and her hapless mother's attempts to minimise, conceal and deny those issues. I got enough information to testify at this woman's trial should it come to that. After all the juice had been sucked from that particular piece of chemically dependent fruit they went on to cheerfully trash the tackiness and general lack of taste of another friends wedding. I must admit green and blue bridesmaid dresses don't sound particularly appealing.

The only thing worse than hearing an entire conversation in this fashion is not hearing the entire conversation. A few weeks ago I was waiting at the traffic lights when a woman walked past engaged in an animated conversation on her mobile. As she passed by me I distinctly heard the words "masturbatory fantasies" before she was gone out of earshot. I had to restrain myself from chasing after her and tearing the earpiece from her head so that I could get the rest of that story.

I've mentioned before that the increasing loss of privacy in the modern world seems to be largely optional. Those people who desire their privacy will gain it in great measure simply by not spilling their guts in public. There was a time when police had to gather evidence on criminals, now all they have to do is friend them on facebook and wait. We walk in a cloud of noise and much of that noise is everybody else discussing the most intimate details of their life at a level usually reserved for horserace announcers. The hearing impaired among us are luckier than they know.

My personal opinion? I think the mother should stop covering for Marie and get her into rehab as soon as possible.

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