For Sale; My Integrity, Going Cheap

I have just discovered that I could make money from my blog. I've had this thing for eleven months now and I've just worked this out. Apparently ads could be included in my blog making me fabulously wealthy and a fully paid up member of the consumer society. This could be exciting. With visions of myself rolling naked in piles of banknotes (and now you're going to have that vision, sorry) I eagerly clicked on the link to see what I had to do to make myself a rich man.

Of course it was advertising. If I give Google permission they will include advertisements beside or below each of my blog entries. The thing that gave me pause was their next comment. Advertising material will be determined by the content of your blog. Dear god, what on earth are they going to advertise based on the content of my blog? The only thing I can think of is possibly a course in Central European history, studies in Serena Williams or perhaps links to mental health professionals. Just possibly positions vacant at the Hadron Supercollider as well. I was almost tempted to do it just to see what Google would think was appropriate to put beside my entries.

However on balance I have decided to maintain my integrity and keep my blog promotion free. Except of course for the promotions I do myself for Satellite Expresso which I mention from time to time in the hopes of getting free coffee there. My sudden brush with advertising glory got me thinking (always a bad sign); there is an immense amount of wasted space in our society that could be gainfully covered in advertising. IVF clinics could take out advertising space on coffins for example "As one life ends; start another". Colleges could advertise law courses on the walls of prisons "If you had studied with us you mightn't be here". Although in the interests of strict accuracy that last one might have to be something like "If you studied with us you might be here on completely different charges".

The defence budget is always stretched, why not put designer labels on our troops uniforms. Discreet little plaques with captions like "This missile frigate proudly brought to you by Pepsi" could rejuvenate the navy. Nike symbols on combat boots (although we might have to improve the quality before Nike is interested) would be a step in the right direction and it can go on from there. If there is any space left over we could have witty sayings. The airforce could have things like "At least we're not Qantas" painted next to the roundels. I know that last was a cheap shot but I couldn't resist.

Cigarette packets are another place for advertising. Tobacco companies can't advertise themselves anymore but is there anything to stop them from renting out the space on their packets to companies that can. It would be a nice little bit of extra income. Speaking of tobacco companies there is one place they could advertise; on drug packaging. Drug dealers rarely just dump a handful of whatever they're selling into their customers hands. It comes in little bags or some other useful container. Why not have cigarette advertising on the bags? Of course that's illegal but drug dealers have already shown a refreshing disregard for the law and tobacco is actually likely to be less harmful than whatever it is they're selling.

We could be sitting on an advertising goldmine, the possibilities are limitless. I think I might go for that blog advertising after all. Although god knows what they're going advertise next to this entry.