Friday, March 19, 2021

Flood Update #1

 The heavens have opened and a positive deluge has been unloaded upon my unhappy state.  Well I say state, I mean the general Sydney area.  Apparently my adopted home town can look forward to a weekend where breathing the air could result in drowning.  For those of you not already floating downstream towards an already overburdened ocean the message is clear.  Stay home!  Do not venture out into the fearsome water, in fact it might be a good idea if we all stopped showering.

Our state's premier issued this ringing call to inaction earlier today.  For reasons which I presume made sense to her at the time she delivered it from an aquarium (or possibly a flood ravaged fish shop).  As she dwelt on the likely watery demise of the population of the countries largest city the occupants of the tanks behind her burst into sustained applause.  I haven't seen such piscine excitement since the premier of the last Sharknado movie (and sadly it was the last Sharknado movie).

While the premier fled the aquarium just before the occupants dragged her to her own personal watery grave I was hard at work simulating being hard at work.  There was certainly rain in bursts, some of it quite heavy but I didn't think we were quite at the "cow floating down the street" stage.  I did get up and close the windows at one point so my disaster survival plan is in place.  To be fair I live on the second floor so if the floodwaters are lapping at my door it probably doesn't bode well for the rest of you.  

With the premier was using a giant squid tentacle to club her way past newly emboldened fish in a desperate attempt to escape the aquarium the state's transport minister also hit the airwaves to warn the citizens cowering under their beds that they should expect delays on the trains.  To be fair he could make this announcement pretty much any day of the week whatever the weather but the rain gave him an excuse to make it look like something unusual.  He predicted a "rain bomb" would do in a single weekend what it normally takes months of budget cutting, mismanagement and neglect to achieve.

Fortunately since we're all going to be at home anyway the fact that railway carriages have joined cows in floating down the street shouldn't interfere with our transport plans.  In fact if the carriages float to their stated destinations there's a chance they might arrive on time.  

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