Apparently we are to have a gas led economic recovery. That's the latest exciting news that was husked from behind the face mask of either our prime minister or a random stranger making a practical joke. The government is encouraging private enterprise to build gas fired power stations on every street corner and has suggested that if private enterprise should be so shortsighted and foolish as to miss this brilliant opportunity then the government may well do it themselves. Private enterprise will probably welcome this as it frees them from the expense and difficulty of building the thing and they'll be able to buy it anyway the next time the government conducts an asset sale.
I'm glad to hear that our economy is going to leap from its COVID induced slumber and start burning gas like its going out of fashion. It's strange that this economic miracle wasn't thought of before given that the gas has been there for several million years at last count. The government also promised to "hold energy companies to account" to ensure that the benefits of a gas well in every house are passed on to consumers. I have to admit I laughed a little at that one but I do realise its the sort of thing that governments feel obliged to say.
Back in the Land of Disease (officially known as Victoria although possibly not for much longer) things are brightening up. People in the less civilised parts of the state will be permitted within fifty metres of each other under strict (but long distance) supervision and as soon as the citizens of Melbourne agree to have a tracking chip embedded in their skulls they too will be allowed to enjoy the heady rush of freedom that comes with being able to tell their children to play outside without risking a visit from the police.
Tragic news emanated from Queensland (a sentence you could probably use every day of the week if you wanted to) where their premier was forced to "work" from home due to a lost voice. Losing one's voice is a terrible blow. For a politician to be unable to speak is like a hagfish being unable to exude mucus (in fact the parallels are almost identical). In addition to what was definitely not a COVID related case of throat huskiness someone also threatened to kill her. And the state's Chief Medical Officer. Fortunately they must have left their home address on the correspondence because the police have already arrested them.
Meanwhile the premier of my state fresh from her triumph in the Koala Revolution has attempted to sound understanding and responsible while simultaneously giving her northern colleague a serve for still refusing to let citizens from my undeniably magnificent state into Queensland. Strangely there do appear to be a large number of people who want to go there. COVID cases are cropping up from time to time in New South Wales but so far we seem to have avoided the citizens dropping in the streets levels that affected Victoria. It's difficult not to feel smug even as one waits nervously for the other shoe to drop.
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