Tuesday, October 9, 2018

Travelling Hopefully - What the Fuck am I Still Doing Here Edition

I signed off on my travel entries in the calm knowledge that all I had to do was get on a couple of planes, not prank the air marshalls and I would be home.  Technically this is still true.  The actual planes however have changed and as yet I haven’t got on any of them.  Instead I wander the corridors of Toronto airport like a slightly disheveled ghost doomed to haunt the spot where life finally seeped from my body.

It all started quite modestly, I padded obediently along to the remote outpost that my aircraft was to be launched into the sky from and sat down to wait.  Everything went well until about three quarters of an hour before we were due to depart.  Then it was announced that the flight would be delayed, not by much, just a little bit.  Still I thought I should just check our new arrival time with the lady at the desk to make sure there would be no problem making my connection.  At that point the Canadian version of all hell broke loose.  I guess all purgatory broke loose.

Not only would there not be enough time to make my connection but there wouldn’t have been even if the plane had been on time and even if there was there definitely wouldn’t have been enough time to make my connection in Dallas.  It was suggested that whoever arranged the booking was an idiot and may indeed have broken the law.  For the next twenty minutes the nice lady at the desk worked her keyboard like a concert pianist with ADHD.  Apparently loads of people are going to Australia at the moment.  The implication was that one of them wouldn’t be me.

After looking at options involving both Los Angeles and Philadelphia the best that could be arranged was an overnight stay in Dallas and a flight to San Francisco the next evening to pick up a night flight to Sydney.  Which would get me home a day late.  That’s all very well but now that flight has been delayed and I’m starting to wonder if Toronto airport is the punishment for all of the sins of my life.  Honestly I haven’t been that bad.

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