Silly After Action Report - Tidal Edition

"We hold here!" Oberst von Kattelrussler stood on an oildrum addressing his troops.  He slapped his swagger stick across his thigh for emphasis, not for the first time, his tunic was torn and blood was beginning to show. "The Poles think they have us! (slap)  They think they can turn us back. (slap) Their attack will break like a wave on the tide and it will recede! (slap) Here! (slap, slap) Here we stand, here we hold, here we drive back these arrogant fools who think they can do what they like in their own country!  What is it von Kummerbund, I was just getting a good rant on."

"Break like a wave on the tide?" asked Major von Kummerbund. "Did you just pinch that straight off the scenario card?"

"Sshh!" muttered von Kattelrussler stuffing the incriminating piece of card under his tunic. He turned to face his troops who were waiting politely to see whether their commanding officer would drown in his own spittle before he died of blood loss.  "Soldiers, have no fear. We have faced this enemy before and I know German flesh and squishy bits are a million times better than any Poles.  Our luftwaffe rules the air, our artillery is matchless and our panzers cannot be stopped!"

"Actually sir, we don't have any panzers, artillery or air support in this scenario," whispered von Kummerbund.

"Oh fuck," said von Kattelrussler.  "We are so screwed!  We're all going to die!"  He started to cry. His troops who had been a bit nonplussed by the entire "morale building" part of the speech nodded happily.  Now they were back on familiar ground.

I must confess on examining the scenario card my first thoughts were rather similar to those of von Kattelrussler.  This is scenario BFP 125, A Wave Breaking With the Tide.  As the German defender my designated role was "beach".  I have to defend a straggling village from a mass of vengeful Poles who seem unaccountably attached to their country.  I have eleven first line squads and six second liners making up the numbers.  Three medium and four light machine guns make up all of the support immediately available and four officers will prove themselves too few to rally my troops.  On the first turn a pair of cattle drawn 75mm guns will make their appearance and plod slowly towards the front.  They might arrive in time to help stop the Soviets in 1944.  In turn four, assuming I last that long, I get six squads of reinforcements with a mass of heavy machine guns.

Facing me Ivan has thirty three squads including a trio of assault engineers, seven officers to encourage them along with a full supporting cast of hmgs, mmgs, DCs, mortars and antitank rifles (why? neither of us could figure out. We suspect someone at BFP has an antitank rifle fetish). In addition to this Ivan has 70mm artillery support guided by an offboard observer who is so high up he must be in a tethered balloon.  Below is my set up, I tried to hide my best troops behind some convenient buildings while I defended some forward buildings in the east (right).  My plan was to slow him down in the east and gradually pull back to defend the victory buildings behind the road.  Over in the west I played with the idea of setting up some troops on the hill but decided to concentrate my force to hopefully hold him off (nope).  One interesting wrinkle is that on a successful sniper roll Ivan can eschew the result and instead place a partisan unit anywhere he thinks it might do most good.  This is to simulate armed locals coming to the assistance of their gallant army.

My set up.  Oberst von Kattelrussler is weeping in a cellar somewhere

Ivan set his force up in a manner that just demonstrated his superiority in numbers.  He appeared to cover the entire set up area.  In the west behind the hill went the bulk of his elite troops.  In the centre were regulars and facing my throwaway troops in the east were his own expendable green squads.  On the eastern flank were a trio of first line squads guided by a doughty 10-1.  Ivan kicked off proceedings by dialing in his artillery.  He placed his artillery request in a spot where he could easily correct it to good effect, unfortunately the spotting round was accurate and he had nothing to hit.

Muttering curses at the artillery gods Ivan's troops swept forward.  His guys in the west pushed up onto the hill without resistance and his eastern troops pushed forward doing their best to keep out of trouble. Feeling a little cocky he ran a squad across a road covered by one of my mmgs and with a roll of three I vaporised them.  I followed that up by breaking and ELRing a green squad in the east which resulted in a disrupted unit whimpering under a DM counter.  First blood to me but Ivan had got forward without too much loss.  For my part I shot at what troops I could see and skulked as best as possible in my turn.

Ivan is probing my flanks.  He could at least buy me dinner first.

With the main push coming in the west I pushed a 9-1, hs, mmg combo up onto the first floor of the church in the centre of town so I could sweep the hilltop. A little too late as it turned out.  Ivan's flankers dropped off the hill into the forest.  I was ready for this.  I had a squad and lmg posted to sweep the road he had to cross if he wanted to get near me.  But first his mortar teams (which he had left on the hill) plastered said squad with fire.  Normally Ivan's mortars slaughter me all over the place but not on this occasion.  He broke one mortar (there is a god after all) and my recently redeployed 9-1 mmg team broke the other.  Ivan then sent a 7-0 with a DC charging at my guard squad but another lmg team killed him outright.  With his cunning tactical ploys defeated Ivan simply dashed half a dozen squads across the road.  First fire, lmg fire lane do you think it made any difference?  Nope, they all got across safely and are now bulking up to cause me misery.

Things are not looking too good on the left.

In the centre Ivan hastened slowly and redirected his artillery to help out.  Now it became inaccurate and the SR dropped behind his forward troops.  He got it on target in the next turn though and dropped in on a half squad in an orchard.  The response of these heroes to a rain of steel was to battle harden into a first line half squad.  Not quite the result Ivan was hoping for.  Over in the far east he scuttled a squad and the 10-1 past my flank defence but I managed to break the unit carrying a dismantled heavy machine gun.  Up in the northwest Ivan has a kill stack assembled which will probably cause me grief later.  A shot at a squad and lmg combo in the centre woods has battle hardened me another squad and gained me a hero into the bargain.  However Ivan's sniper has managed to kill one of my already skimpy leaders. Far in the rear my 75mm guns amble slowly towards the battlefield pausing to eat grass along the way.

Part 2

I commenced the second part of this game with a certain amount of confidence.  Yes Ivan was preparing a swarm of attackers on my left but for the moment they were vulnerable and I hoped to be able to whittle down the attacking force to something I was more capable of dealing with.  In the centre and right I seemed to be holding on all right.  Then things went to Hell.  They went to Hell, occupied territory and set up home there.  I inflicted some minor damage on the left and in return Ivan rained carnage down on my defenders.  On the left he broke my lmg squad holding an outlying building then he moved his artillery to the right and crushed a pair of squads that I had been hoping would be the mainstay of my defence.  Further fire broke the half squad over there as well and suddenly I had virtually no defences on the right.  He had already filtered a squad or two across the road and emboldened he brought up some more to menace my remaining troops in that area.

But wait, things get worse

The only tiny ray of light was that his kill stack menacing my forward mmg team achieved nothing except the breaking of his own mmg.  In the next turn things got worse.  One of my gun teams finally reached a position where it might be able help guard a flank (on the right).  The other trudged slowly towards a battlefield going from bad to worse.  Ivan's battering of the left continued and including mangling a squad of reinforcements I tried to send forward to help.  His artillery dropped harmlessly in my rear area but still seemed threatening.  With virtually nothing to stop him on the left he sent his troops forward snatching a few buildings and positioning himself for better things.  He also sent a pair of squads deep down my left flank obviously trying to position himself to stave off my reinforcements.  Wasted effort in my view as I seriously doubted if I would survive until turn four. 

Back in the main battle zone Ivan pushed forward a stack of three squads in the centre and managed to kill the halfsquad with the 9-1.  Suddenly I was an mmg down.  On the right some judicious moves on Ivan's part had resulted in capturing a trio of squads while the broken remnants of two more fled his advance.

I am so doomed

Again the only good news came from the centre where a lucky shot absolutely crushed what was left of his kill stack killin a 9-0 and CR'ing the squad manning the hmg.  The squad with the malfed mmg had wisely left before that happened.  Amid all of the carnage I had been attempting to execute my own plan of withdrawing gradually on the right to build a force in the centre of the village.  This had sort of worked and Ivan was slowed somewhat.  On the left there was barely a defence at all but fortunately so far Ivan has only got a couple of units into the village proper.  

To deal with his two flanking squads I unshipped my remaining gun on the road.  I was using an artillery piece as a diversion.  Bizarrely it worked,  Ivan ran one squad behind them and first fire from the crew broke it.  The other squad charged into CC with the gun crew where it currently remains.  I'm not sure how long that will keep going though.  

I have never awaited reinforcements with more desperation

Once again Ivan's artillery dropped down accurately pulverising such reinforcements as I had managed to push left.  For Christ's sake man draw a red chit damn you!  At present my left flank is in tatters but as yet Ivan hasn't fully exploited it yet.  He's pressing on the right but I'm just managing to hold my own.  In the centre I'm doing well but that's largely irrelevant as the battle is being decided behind my troops there.  If I can rally some troops, get some good rolls and please an increasingly whimsical (not to say vengeful) god possibly I can bring on my reinforcements in time to save what's left of my position.

Part 3

This part should probably be subtitled, "Then things got worse."  My reinforcements (six squads, two leaders and four dm heavy machine guns) were due to arrive and I had crafted a plan to turn the tide of the battle.  Over on the left I would push a couple of squads towards my gun.  I doubted if they would arrive in time to affect the close combat but I did at least hope to beat up any surviving troops he had left.  In the centre I pushed a leader and a few more squads up through the centre to try and stabilise the position there while a squad and an hmg moved forward on the right to add heft to what appeared to be a pretty solid defensive position.

For a precious moment I had hope

Figuring that the clutch of defenders protecting the group of buildings just to the right of the centre had done all they could I started filtering them back.  In the centre of the village I managed to marry up a squad with the mmg and moved a mmg unit westward to bolster my (virtually non existent) defences there.  I also attempted to manhandle my right hand gun a little closer to the action without result which as it turned out was rather fortuitous for me.  In the village to the north of the road Ivan had moved a crew with a DC next to one of my few surviving squads. I wasn't taking that lying down and in my next firephase I, well I broke the lmg without hurting him but in fury I charged into CC and with odds of 4-1 I managed to wipe him out.

Ivan pushed strongly on both flanks, taking advantage of the absence of many defenders on the left to snatch some buildings.  He was aided by a sniper result which allowed him to drop a partisan half squad into the same location as one of my few defenders (a half squad, mmg & 7-0).  With them locked up he charged a pair of squads accompanied by their own leader into CC with them.  Over on the right Ivan used his standard "outflank Neil" ploy.  He simply raced troops through the open.  His first squad dashed across the road and I attempted to lay down a firelane.  Instead I boxcarred the roll, broke an lmg and Ivan simply strolled the remainder of his troops across the road. Suddenly the pair of squads holding on gallantly in the outer buildings were surrounded, a point made abundantly clear when Ivan promptly broke one of said squads in advancing fire.

Yep definitely worse.

Now my right flank looked as tattered as my left.  The sole piece of good news was breaking one of his squads as he attempted to pile into the newly created melee in the centre.  These guys surrendered to my squad north of the road.  Just to add insult to injury Ivan gained another sniper result which he used to drop another half squad this time into a stack of broken units north of the road.

So was there any good news?  Just a little.  Despite being monstered by a pair of squads and an 8-1 leader my half squad and 7-0 have so far survived two rounds of close combat with a non fatal wound to the 7-0 as the only result.  This has allowed me to move my 9-1, squad and mmg combo next door, a convenient pin result stopped them reinforcing the CC and over on the far left one of my reinforcing squads is conducting its own personal counter attack and has seized back a building.  Over on my right the 75mm gun managed to get a minor rate tear on a squad and 10-1 that had unwisely taken shelter in the acquired woods hex (apparently attempting to move the gun doesn't remove acquisition, believe me Ivan looked very hard).  Both are now dead.

Much much worse

In the right centre I tried to copy Ivan's trick of dashing across a road.  It didn't go too badly, one half squad killed and a squad and a half pinned in the open road.  In desperation I have moved a squad with a (dm) hmg up to the right hand buildings in a pitiful attempt to hang on to them for another turn.  For his part Ivan amassed a monstrous amount of firepower including an hmg at pointblank range and threw a 30+2 shot at my one surviving squad on the right.  There was only one thing I could do.
"Roll boxcars," I ordered Ivan.  Ivan rolled boxcars.  Broke the hmg and no result on the IFT attack.  Both of us had dice failures at critical moments.  There are now two turns left and Ivan needs to snatch a bunch more buildings.  As for me, my casualties have been ghastly.  Perhaps if I'm lucky I might hold him off.  One thing is for sure, I cannot afford anything else going wrong.  I don't have the manpower to recover.

Part 4

With only two turns left Ivan went for broke.  He brought his artillery down (five black chits in a row for God's sake) but my boys cheerfully ate the 12FP attacks and spat shrapnel at their opponents.  Over on the right he pushed a squad and a half forward to challenge for one of the few remaining buildings under my control in that area.  I dealt with the half squad but the squad remained and broke my boys in the next turn. On the left he was gobbling up small buildings like Godzilla with an eating disorder.  I clung to those remaining to me and plotted a modest counter attackette of my own.  The monster melee in the centre couldn't last much longer (he had two and a half squads plus a leader to my own half squad and (wounded) leader but I had pushed up a squad with an mmg just for this purpose and fired ruthlessly into the melee.  I rolled an eleven which resulted in absolutely nothing and Ivan cheerfully killed my boys in the CC phase.

My position is crumbling

 But this moment of joy was short lived for Ivan as my mmg team broke his entire force in my next prep fire phase and I was able to recover a pair of buildings as a result.  In the south west (bottom left to you) Ivan had pushed forward in search of victory locations leaving those behind under guarded.  Under guarded became unguarded courtesy of a sniper attack which broke a squad at a vital moment and I pushed forward a squad and 7-0 to snatch back another building.  Now Ivan would have to divert troops back to deal with them.  In the centre I had a mmg team that had unwisely gone berserk and they charged off to attack a squad and leader of his in the back play.  The ensuing CC would keep them both out of the action for the rest of the game.

 With the end of days upon him Ivan threw caution to the winds. Over on the right he swarmed towards my one remaining squad but expertly conducted FPF broke or pinned everything that he pushed in that direction. On the left (now more like the centre) he grabbed a couple more buildings and sent some boys to retake the building I had retaken from him in the previous turn.  A sniper killed his only officer and he finally took some punishment from running out in the road when an hmg vaporised an entire squad trying to crack my middle position.  At the end he wound up a couple of buildings short with one turn to go for the Germans to improve their positions.  Disappointments for Ivan were his hmgs which didn't really get into the fight.  Disappointments for me were every single damn firelane I ever laid down.  Nevertheless since I won I suppose I can't complain too much (seriously, not a single useful result from any of the bloody firelanes).  Casualties were appalling on both sides.

Endgame, somehow I've survived

Major von Kummerbund stared around at the few unwounded men left to him.
"Dear god, how did we pull that one off?"
Junior officer staggered up, wild eyed with a Polish bayonet protruding from his midsection.  He attempted to salute and fell over backwards.
Von Kummerbund heaved a huge sigh.  Somehow they had won and best of all had been the sight of Oberst von Kattelrussler, hands above his head being chivvied to the rear by some Polish soldiers.
"It could have been worse," he said out loud.  A broad grin spread across his face, "Much worse."
"Well done von Kummerbund," called von Kattelrussler from across the street.  "Not the way I would have done it of course but you haven't messed it up too much."
Von Kummerbund stared at the unexpected sight of his commanding officer accompanied by a rather shell shocked looking gefreiter (yep, him again).
"Come along von Kummerbund, first soldier we find that's alive gets an iron cross."  Von Kattelrussler strode off into the artillery battered village looking for survivors.
"I thought he was taken prisoner," hissed von Kummerbund to the gefreiter.
"He was sir, when the Poles found out who he was they released him and released me to guide him back to our lines to make sure we could continue to benefit from his leadership."
A horrible thought struck von Kummerbund,
"He was interrogated?  Did he tell them anything?"
The gefreiter shook his head,
"He gave them his name, rank and serial number."
"Thank god."
"Then he gave them his likes, dislikes and star sign. And I think he gave one of them his telephone number."