Birthday Greetings #71

Happy birthday to Diadumenian, Roman emperor!

What's that?  You've never heard of Diadumenian?  Honestly where have you people been?  Come on, you're kidding right?  Who hasn't heard of Diadumenian, son of Macrinus?  Somebody, anybody?

Yes, well its probably not all that surprising really.  Diadumenian's name is writ but lightly on the pages of history.  Indeed the only reason why he gets a mention at all is because of the rather callous behaviour of his father.  This insensitive bastard decided to have his son crowned co-emperor.

It has been noted in various histories that the Romans weren't particularly fond of their children.  Distance, strict discipline and an appropriately Roman sober reserve seemed to be the way that Roman parents were encouraged to behave towards their offspring.  Of course this is a thoroughly appropriate way for parents to behave.  Let's face it if we could trust the little beggars we wouldn't keep them at home until they were physically powerful enough to force their way out.  Still the Romans did appear to take it to extremes.

In their defence the infant mortality rate of the empire was such that if you got too attached to your children you were likely to be prostrated with grief for much of your life after their almost inevitable deaths.  If the Romans had invested deeply and emotionally in their children then the entire empire would have had a collective nervous breakdown centuries before the collapse actually happened.

Still, there is stern and then there is actively malicious.  One of the cruellest things a third century Roman could do was make his son co-emperor.  Supposedly it helped to secure the succession, in actual fact it just raised the bodycount after the inevitable military coup.  Macrinus, our boy's father, had seized the empire by the simple expedient of having his predecessor murdered.  Lest you feel any sympathy for the victim I would point out that the predecessor was Caracalla and he was begging for it.  With the support of the Senate Macrinus proclaimed himself emperor.  A few months later he made his eight year old son (Diadumenian) caesar.  A few months after that the almost obligatory revolt broke out with certain legions backing a rival claimant for the throne.  With staggeringly bad timing Macrinus took this opportunity to elevate Diadumenian to the rank of Augustus (ie, co-emperor).  The lad was about ten and the shadow over his head was the vulture of death.

In swift succession Macrinus lost a couple of battles, his job, his freedom, his son and finally his head.  His son?  Sadly yes, in a last minute burst of rational thought Macrinus told his ten year old co-emperor to run for his life, unfortunately Diadumenian didn't get far before he was caught and executed.  His head was sent (along with his father's) as a trophy to the new emperor, one Elagabalus by name who was everything a Roman emperor should be.  That is; he was a petulant, self indulgent, savage, sexually confused, extravagant, religious maniac.  This might explain why he lasted four whole years in the job before somebody murdered him.