Aspiring to a Freak Show

There is a new television show gracing our screens at the moment.  It's called Australian Ninja Warrior.  Presumably to differentiate it from Australian Ninja Garbage Collector.  I can't wait for the moment when they start killing each other with katanas and throwing stars.  In fact maybe they could do that bit first.

I took a quick glance at this ratings phenomenon (and apparently it is a ratings phenomenon) and got a curious sense of deja vu.  In my younger days there was a tv show called "It's A Knockout" which involved people undertaking ridiculous physical trials so that their failures could be broadcast to the nation who would take pleasure at these miserable creatures debasing themselves for the entertainment of others.  It was your standard modern day freak show.  Well Australian Ninja Warrior is like that only now the contestants, rather than being held up as pitiable dregs of humanity they are, are being marketed as aspirational figures; people to look up to.

I suppose this is progress although in which direction I wouldn't care to speculate.  On the one hand fitness, a healthy lifestyle and a competitive nature are laudable qualities so to praise them can't be too bad a thing.  On the other hand apparently the most useful thing you can do with these qualities is to throw yourself across the obstacle course from hell while a howling mob cheers you on and privately hopes you break a leg.

The word "Ninja" in the title is a dead giveaway of course but even if it hadn't been there a TV show that focusses on torturing its contestants to the point of death pretty much had to originate in Japan.  This seems to be what they specialise in.  Each country has its particular field of ghastly television expertise.  Britain for instance seems to produce an endless series of "reality" TV shows that can best be collectively titled "Tattooed Douchebags and Dumb Drunk Tarts" while America prides itself on being able to gather together a collection of fundamentally uninteresting people with one particular thing in common (like being housewives or midgets) and then pretending that anyone else on the planet might have a reason to give a shit about them.

Australia doesn't seem to have a genre of its own.  Instead we take all of the others and make pale shadows of them.  Australian viewers then tend to ignore these in favour of the originals from overseas.  Here's the thing about freak shows.  They're a lot easier to enjoy if you don't think you might be part of the act. 

The promotional video for Australian Ninja Warrior hypes the "ordinary Aussies" theme.  You know, these people are just like you and me.  Only they're not.  Whatever you say about their career choices and willingness to be hurt for the amusement of the television public they aren't ordinary Australians.  They're tough, dedicated, fit and driven.  Ordinary Australians are more like me; ageing, lazy and the closest we get to an obstacle course is when we trip over our slippers on the way from the kitchen to the armchair to watch the next episode of Australian Ninja Warrior. 

Of course all of the competitors have a backstory.  Apparently you can't get out of bed without having a backstory nowadays.  We, the audience, are supposed to be engaged by these backstories.  They help us to share the hopes, dreams, pain and anguish of the competitors.  Why?  I personally don't care what happens to any of these people.  Did the Romans waste everybodies time providing a backstory for people thrown to the lions?  Just poke the monkeys with a stick and make them dance for god's sake.

Not that I'll be watching Australian Ninja Warrior too much.  I have too much self respect and empathy for my fellow human beings.  I take no great pleasure in having others tortured for my amusement.  Also it clashes with Total Divas on Fox 8.