Stormageddon II: The Soggening

Yep, its on again.  Apparently evil minded weather systems are charging towards Sydney with devastation on their minds.  Dear god, is there no end to our suffering?  Barely have we come to terms with swimming pools that we thought were safely buried erupting from their graves like zombies with severe fluid retention than we have to deal with yet more weather created tragedy.  It isn't just swimming pools this time, there is a serious risk that the backyard pergolas will go too.

Fortunately this time Sydney is prepared.  In response to the fact that dams might overflow the government is considering raising them.  It hasn't actually done that yet but its definitely on the agenda.  So our dams are now safe.  On a more individual note the general public is preparing too.  Across our fair (but overcast) city people are saying to each other "another storm coming" and gaining sage nods of agreement in reply.  So we too have done all we can.

Hear me Oh Gods of Rain and Wind!  Sydney defies you!  Never have we been so well prepared, do your worst you displacer of swimming pools!  Chance your arm you beach eating monsters!  We do not fear your gushing gutters, we laugh at your clogging of our storm drains, we sneer at the concept of seawalls.  We shall weather your weather in the traditional Sydney fashion.  By doing nothing until its all over and then bitching about the result.

Do not feel flattered by this ye Deities of Destruction, this is how we treat every occurrence whether for good or ill.  Some people waste their time preparing for disaster.  We mock these fools and their efforts for we know the truth.  All that time, all that effort that is wasted in preparation could be more enjoyably used blaming somebody else afterwards. 

According to the news Queensland might also see some wild weather this weekend.  I and other Sydneysiders sneer at this with contempt.  Not for one instant can anyone believe that Queensland might be subjected to horrors to match the rain and wind we shall endure this weekend.  For one thing the rain and wind happening to us is happening to us and is therefore infinitely more important and severe than anything that might be happening to a bunch of people several hundred kilometres up the coast who are only considered fellow countrymen as a combined act of courtesy and charity.  It could be raining acid in Queensland and we still wouldn't think it as important as an orphan swimming pool lying on a beach in Sydney.

So prepare yourselves for, in the cockpit of Sydney, comes the greatest clash between man and nature ever witnessed as four million people do battle with some rain.  The stakes are high and not every swimming pool will survive but those who endure will be able to call themselves men.  Or women if they prefer.  I'm certainly not trying to impose gender stereotypes on anyone.