Sunday, January 17, 2016

To Sleep, Perchance to Create A Moneymaking Opportunity

There was a book on the market stall offering advice on the interpretation of dreams.  Dream interpretation is a fruitful and lucrative field of study because absolutely nobody can prove your conclusions wrong.  A dream of clouds and puppy dogs can be interpreted as a subconscious manifestation of your psychopathic tendencies should your dream interpreter so desire.  I suppose it all depends on what you're planning to do with the puppies.

It would appear that there is no aspect of the human experience that some other human won't take advantage of in order to make a buck.  Somebody has probably attempted to predict the future by analysing bowel movements.  Which I suppose could work in highly specific instances.

Dreams have always been fertile ground for a certain type of person to exploit.  You know the type of person I mean.  They are the people who, in humanity's earliest days, thought "Bugger all this hunting and gathering crap.  If I just string some bones around my neck and babble about dreams people will bring food to me."  In those days they were called shamen or witchdoctors, nowadays we call them marketing executives or lifestyle coaches.  They are the people who realised that if you convince others you're helping then it doesn't actually matter whether you are or not.  Whatever the job title the actual job description hasn't changed much.

On a broad level one can suppose that if you're going bankrupt in real life then anxiety riddled dreams are probably connected.  I rarely dream and on those occasions when I do I can always trace it back to either being drunk when I went to bed or overly hot.  I would write my own dream interpretation book but at less than two lines long even the most gullible person probably wouldn't spend any money to buy it.

The saddest thing about all of this is that two million years after the first scam merchant tossed some scented leaves onto the fire and solemnly informed his flea ridden interlocutor that his dreams of a black obelisk meant he had to drop a large chunk of mammoth steak at the dream interpreters tent the trick still works.  This is a testament to either the innate spirituality of the human race or our irredeemable gullibility.  My last dream involved me helping a dominatrix solve a murder mystery.  I can't imagine that that has anything to do with what's happening in my life at the moment.  Although it might make an interesting pitch for a television series.

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