Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Like Coffee for Guppys

Well the final wave of my holiday has tossed me spent and broken upon the rocky shores of my employment.  Gasping and spitting salt water I dragged my carcass up to level 60 and collapsed panting at my desk.

My pleasure at seeing my colleagues was only slightly marred by the fact that they had obviously managed to get along perfectly well without me while I was away.  I do like to think that the team benefited from my return and I'm trying to ignore the vulture perched on my desk divider.  I'm proud to say that I buckled straight down to the tasks at hand without even bothering to remove the seaweed from my hair or the condoms from my stomache.  My colleagues were divided into roughly three equal groups; those who didn't realise I was gone, those who thought I'd been fired and those who thought I'd died.  All were surprised to see me especially the third group.

The team guppy was pleased to see me.  At least that's the interpretation I'm going to put on his swimming in circles at my presence.  Apparently while I was away certain nameless team members attempted to kill him with neglect.  Our guppy, however, is made of stern stuff.  Shortly after we acquired him he was involved in a tragic bowl cleaning incident which resulted in him spending fifteen minutes on the floor under a colleagues desk.  I'm also pretty sure he was heavily involved in the untimely demise of the other team guppy who used to share his bowl.  Officially it was an accident but none of us have been game to buy a replacement.  The survivor (his name is Bullard by the way) swims happily in splendid isolation and defies us to purchase another fish.

So as you can see a little thing like not being fed for a week isn't likely to bother our boy.  The only visible change was that the water in the bowl was uncharacteristically clear and that was probably due to the fact that I hadn't been rinsing my coffee cup in it for six weeks.  No wonder the guppy was so pleased to see me.  He was probably desperate for a caffeine hit.

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