Monday, October 22, 2012

Housework or Homeless. Give Me a Minute to Think About It

I dislike housework.  I realise this is unlikely to be a revelation, I'm sure very few people actively enjoy it.  However the thing I dislike most about housework is its impermanence.  You do housework, you work hard, you get your little abode sparkling clean and then six months later you have to do it all again.

I have no problem with work (honestly officer I don't) but I have a serious problem with work that doesn't end.  I like to be able to draw a line under things and say they're done.  Housework isn't like that, as soon as you're finished the place starts getting messy again.  Possibly the only thing I could do to keep the place tidy is live somewhere else.  This strikes me as being a little extreme.

Although now I think about it not living in ones home has a few advantages.  For starters you could cut down on furniture.  Secondly while housework would presumably still need to be done not being there would make it easier to ignore.  Another great benefit would be the extra storage space.  Humans, no matter how frugal, seem to accumulate immense mounds of crap the moment they stay in one place for more than twenty minutes.  Just ask anyone who has tried to move house, or me when I try to find that important memo on my desk at work.  If you're not living in your home you have that much space to store unnecessary crap you're never going to use.  Plus, of course, it won't get in your way.

Naturally if you are using your home as a high net worth storage facility then you're going to have to find somewhere to actually live.  Have you considered being homeless?  There are some advantages; for starters no one can possibly expect you to do housework on the entire outdoors.  In fact people's expectations plummet when you're homeless.  If you remember to pull down your pants before going to the toilet you count as high functioning.

Still there are disadvantages in being homeless such as heat, cold, rain, discomfort, misery, muggers, rats, police, public contempt and the unwanted attention of social workers.  So here's my actual suggestion.  Stay with friends.  This has all the advantages of home ownership without any of the hassles.  Naturally, humans being what they are, your friends are likely to get tired of your presence after eighteen months or so.  To avoid this you should try and help them out a bit.  Offer to do the housework.  Everyone hates doing that.

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