One of the best pieces of advice I was ever given on writing was "write". It doesn't matter if you don't know what you're going to write about or if you have reached an impasse in your Great Australian Novel, just write something. Get words down on paper. At the very least it will serve as practice, get you into the habit of writing and you never know where it might take you.
Worthy though the above advice is you're probably thinking that it doesn't bode well for the quality of the upcoming blog entry. And you would be right; essentially what I'm doing is throwing words at the computer screen at random and then tossing the occasional piece of punctuation in when I think the sentences are getting too long. Anyone who doesn't find this appealing please feel free to stop reading now. Go on; get up, walk the dog, finish your homework, write your own much better blog. I won't be offended, honest.
Pssst! Have they gone? Good, now for you faithful few who remain I have something rather special to share. I just had to get rid of the dilettantes first, the blog whores if you will. Don't misunderstand me, I have nothing against those people, I'm sure many of them are lovely but for the matter of earth shattering importance that I'm going to impart I need to separate the wheat from the chaff.
Doubtless there will be tears and howls of outrage from among them when they realise what they have missed but that can't be helped. I like to think that the best among them will understand my reasons and applaud my discretion. There is hope for these people. One day they will join us in the inner circle and partake fully of the mysteries which for the present must be restricted to a select few. Perhaps you won't like that my loyal elite but I encourage you to greet your new brothers and sisters when they arrive as fellows fully worthy to take their place amongst us. I will be judicious of course, of every thousand that step forward only one will be chosen and these precious few will more than earn their place at our table which alone shall be saved when the mountains crumble and the mass of doomed humanity cry out in despair.
And now my dark apostles the moment for which we have been planning and dreaming. The day when we ascend to the level of gods is upon us. Listen well because the words I have to say will be the only lifeline to guide us through the last days which are imminently upon us. These few precious syllables which are our key to eternity and beyond. Yes listen well my bretheren and mark my words because...oh, this is a little embarrassing. I seem to have forgotten it. Which is a pity because it was really cool. You might as well invite the others back now. I guess we're all doomed after all. My bad.
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