Wednesday, December 22, 2010

When the World is Gripped by Fear Find the Nearest Drunken Serb

Hurrah, the Red Sea is saved. When all else failed a Serbian hero stepped up and made the waters safe to swim and discharge untreated sewage in. Keen observers of all things Red Sea ( will know that the Egyptian tourist resort of Sharm el Sheik has been terrorised by the local equivalent of Jaws. A shark has been swimming around biting lumps out of various tourists. Previous claims that the shark had been killed were proved to be a case of mistaken identity and the compensation claim by the unfortunate sharks widow is currently before the Egyptian courts.

Then, when all looked hopeless up stepped a man from Serbia. Fearlessly ascending to the highest diving platform he hurled himself into the sea, inadvertently colliding with the shark and killing it instantly (do I even need to mention he was hopelessly drunk?). This has prompted wild rejoicing amongst tourist operators and more restrained rejoicing amongst the Muslim Brotherhood who were in danger of being sidelined. For some reason a killer shark is more tourist frightening than some halfwit with an AK-47.

Our hero is currently recovering in hospital (from alcohol poisoning) and has been offered a free holiday by the resort when he gets out. I suspect they're going to ply him with drinks and unleash him on the rest of the area's shark population. After that I believe he has an offer from a cargo ship heading around the Horn of Africa. They're hoping he will jump on some Somali pirates along the way. Guess its time to short those pirate options I invested my superannuation in a few weeks ago.

PS: I know this story is almost certainly a hoax but if you had a blog could you pass up mentioning it?

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