There was an article in the paper the other day titled "the Passionate Conservationist". The article had something to do with quolls which I thought were a subatomic particle but are apparently small fuzzy cute things. They are also something at least on conservationist is passionate about.
What really grabbed me was the title; "the Passionate Conservationist". I have to admit I thought that being passionate would be part of the job description for a conservationist. It's quite difficult to imagine a dispassionate conservationist. "Yeah, save the trees I guess but, you know, whatever". I can't imagine too many quolls being saved with an attitude like that.
Actually quolls don't need to be saved so much as reanimated. The quoll in question is extinct on the Australian mainland (Tasmania being somewhat behind the times still has some left) and this apparently passionate individual is passionately breeding them in the hopes of being able to reintroduce them into the wild where apparently they will be able to breed without supervision. One can't help thinking they might do it a bit better without supervision.
Still on dead things breeding apparently the eurasian lynx has been reintroduced into the Harz Mountain region of Germany over a century after the last one died. Its early days but experts are hoping that a viable colony can be built in the Harz. Which leads to an interesting point about conservation. Quite often we don't actually have to do all that much to ensure the preservation of endangered species.
Take the Harz Mountains. Yes, they it is of the least developed parts of Germany and the area is a nature reserve now but that's actually a recent development. While we may not have built huge cities there the Harz have been used by humans for centuries for farming (where it was flat enough) mining (where it wasn't), timber, hunting and V-2 missile factories. Much of the tree cover was artificially introduced to replace those stripped out by mining operations which also added their own unique and difficult to remove ingredients to the water table. Despite all of this the Harz is one of the most beautiful "natural" regions of Germany. Even the dying out of the lynxes had less to do with environmental degradation and more to do with the fact that farmers persisted in shooting them. There is actually a plaque commemorating where the last one was shot. A sort of "hooray the lynx is dead" monument. The principal role of those reintroducing the lynxes was to get guarantees from the local farmers that they wouldn't start shooting them again.
Despite comments on the fragility of ecosystems nature will tend to find a way to survive if its given half a chance. In many cases it would seem that the most effective conservation measure we can take is to stop actively killing the animal in question. Nature will take care of much of the rest itself.
Sunday, April 13, 2014
Friday, April 11, 2014
Birthday Greetings # 36
Happy birthday to Septimus Severus, Roman emperor. Septimus was born in Libya (which seems to be getting bit of a run in my blog of late) to mixed Roman and Punic heritage. His family was wealthy and moderately distinguished (although there were a couple of consuls among them). Deciding to pursue what modern politicians euphemistically call "a career in public service" Severus went to Rome and through the good offices of a relative attempted to get some good offices.
Promotion was slow at first but after a fortuitous plague which gutted the ranks of the higher orders (it probably gutted the ranks of the lower orders as well but Septimus wasn't competing with them for jobs) his career really took off. A series of increasingly important positions proved he was at least as capable as anyone else who had survived the plague and in 191 the emperor Commodus appointed him commander of the legions in Pannonia. He was still there when his troops proclaimed him emperor in place of the guy who replaced the guy who replaced Commodus. This was only two years later. The life expectancy of the average Roman emperor was about twenty five minutes.
Severus marched on Rome but the whole thing turned into an anticlimax as the Senate murdered the incumbent emperor without waiting for him and all he had to do on arrival was settle in. Oh yes and beat the other guy that various people in Rome had invited to become emperor. The trouble with the Roman empire (as later emperors would realise) was that it was so damned big that news took a fair while to get from one place to another. With emperors coming and going before the mint had even finished issuing the commemorative coinage it was very easy to rise in revolt against somebody who was already dead. Severus beat his challenger (one Niger by name) and followed it up with a whirlwind campaign against the Parthians which he more or less won. A couple of years later he came back and definitely won just in case anybody had had any doubts about the results of the previous war. The fact that he had to come back indicates that one of the people with doubts was himself.
Naturally this wasn't the end of his troubles. Clodius Albinus, the governor of Britannia, had been making emperor like noises and Severus had appointed him caesar, with a distinct hint of a possible succession while he was dealing with Niger. This kept Albinus off his back at a crucial moment but when he thought he was safe Severus made his son Caracalla co-emperor effectively scotching any hopes Albinus might have had. Albinus responded in a mature and considered fashion; he stripped Britain of troops and invaded Gaul. Another battle followed at which Albinus was killed and Severus finally settled down to rule the empire in, well, peace is not exactly the term but possibly "in war with people who weren't Romans".
The Senate of Rome hated him because he killed a lot of senators on various conspiracy and corruption charges. The common people of Rome loved him for pretty much the same reasons. The army was also quite fond of him due to his morale boosting action of increasing their pay by two thirds. Also quite a bit of the army that might have been inclined to dislike him was now dead. Naturally he had to fall under the influence of a senior official who was also a member of his extended family. This was pretty much de rigeur for emperors of the time and the elite of Rome lived in fear of this favourite and son in law by marriage. Unfortunately for him the son in question was Caracalla who started as he meant to go on by accusing the guy of treason (accurately) and having him murdered in the imperial palace. Sadly for the senate this didn't actually slow down the rate of senatorial executions.
The reign of Severus was quite active in a military sense. There was a successful war in Africa and the southern part of Scotland (then called Caledonia in deference to the fact that the Scots wouldn't turn up for several centuries) between Hadrian's wall and the Antonine wall was reoccupied and generally pacified. One can't help thinking that part of his method of keeping the army under control was to make sure it was fully employed. But Severus overreached himself when he decided to conquer the rest of Scotland (sorry, Caledonia) for reasons which nobody has been quite able to decipher. The Caledonians resorted to guerrilla warfare which caused his army huge losses without him ever being able to bring them to battle. Still guerrilla war is as tough on the guerrillas as it is on their enemies and the Caledonians sued for peace. A year later they changed their minds and Severus decided on a new tactic called genocide. Fortunately for the Caledonians he sickened and died before he could really carry it out.
Septimus Severus was emperor for about eighteen years which was longer than the previous three combined. With two sons he felt confident that he had ensured lasting stability for Rome in the form of a reliable dynasty. His last advice to his two sons was famously "stick together, favour the army, to hell with everybody else". Sage advice, sadly his hopes for a long and distinguished dynasty foundered on the fact that his eldest son, Caracalla, turned out to be a homicidal maniac.
Promotion was slow at first but after a fortuitous plague which gutted the ranks of the higher orders (it probably gutted the ranks of the lower orders as well but Septimus wasn't competing with them for jobs) his career really took off. A series of increasingly important positions proved he was at least as capable as anyone else who had survived the plague and in 191 the emperor Commodus appointed him commander of the legions in Pannonia. He was still there when his troops proclaimed him emperor in place of the guy who replaced the guy who replaced Commodus. This was only two years later. The life expectancy of the average Roman emperor was about twenty five minutes.
Severus marched on Rome but the whole thing turned into an anticlimax as the Senate murdered the incumbent emperor without waiting for him and all he had to do on arrival was settle in. Oh yes and beat the other guy that various people in Rome had invited to become emperor. The trouble with the Roman empire (as later emperors would realise) was that it was so damned big that news took a fair while to get from one place to another. With emperors coming and going before the mint had even finished issuing the commemorative coinage it was very easy to rise in revolt against somebody who was already dead. Severus beat his challenger (one Niger by name) and followed it up with a whirlwind campaign against the Parthians which he more or less won. A couple of years later he came back and definitely won just in case anybody had had any doubts about the results of the previous war. The fact that he had to come back indicates that one of the people with doubts was himself.
Naturally this wasn't the end of his troubles. Clodius Albinus, the governor of Britannia, had been making emperor like noises and Severus had appointed him caesar, with a distinct hint of a possible succession while he was dealing with Niger. This kept Albinus off his back at a crucial moment but when he thought he was safe Severus made his son Caracalla co-emperor effectively scotching any hopes Albinus might have had. Albinus responded in a mature and considered fashion; he stripped Britain of troops and invaded Gaul. Another battle followed at which Albinus was killed and Severus finally settled down to rule the empire in, well, peace is not exactly the term but possibly "in war with people who weren't Romans".
The Senate of Rome hated him because he killed a lot of senators on various conspiracy and corruption charges. The common people of Rome loved him for pretty much the same reasons. The army was also quite fond of him due to his morale boosting action of increasing their pay by two thirds. Also quite a bit of the army that might have been inclined to dislike him was now dead. Naturally he had to fall under the influence of a senior official who was also a member of his extended family. This was pretty much de rigeur for emperors of the time and the elite of Rome lived in fear of this favourite and son in law by marriage. Unfortunately for him the son in question was Caracalla who started as he meant to go on by accusing the guy of treason (accurately) and having him murdered in the imperial palace. Sadly for the senate this didn't actually slow down the rate of senatorial executions.
The reign of Severus was quite active in a military sense. There was a successful war in Africa and the southern part of Scotland (then called Caledonia in deference to the fact that the Scots wouldn't turn up for several centuries) between Hadrian's wall and the Antonine wall was reoccupied and generally pacified. One can't help thinking that part of his method of keeping the army under control was to make sure it was fully employed. But Severus overreached himself when he decided to conquer the rest of Scotland (sorry, Caledonia) for reasons which nobody has been quite able to decipher. The Caledonians resorted to guerrilla warfare which caused his army huge losses without him ever being able to bring them to battle. Still guerrilla war is as tough on the guerrillas as it is on their enemies and the Caledonians sued for peace. A year later they changed their minds and Severus decided on a new tactic called genocide. Fortunately for the Caledonians he sickened and died before he could really carry it out.
Septimus Severus was emperor for about eighteen years which was longer than the previous three combined. With two sons he felt confident that he had ensured lasting stability for Rome in the form of a reliable dynasty. His last advice to his two sons was famously "stick together, favour the army, to hell with everybody else". Sage advice, sadly his hopes for a long and distinguished dynasty foundered on the fact that his eldest son, Caracalla, turned out to be a homicidal maniac.
Saturday, April 5, 2014
Another Silly After Action Report
In 1911 Italy seized Libya as part of its spoils in a recently concluded war with the Ottoman Empire. Why? The only rational reason seems to be that Italy came rather late to the colonial race and all the good bits of Africa had already been taken. It was much the same thinking that led them to invade Ethiopia a little over twenty years later. Having saddled itself with Libya the Italians attempted to play the role of colonial master. They settled the fertile bits and did their best to ignore the other 95%. At some point, apparently to protect this glittering jewel in their crown from the predatory British they constructed a vast barbed wire fence running for several hundred kilometres along the Libyan-Egyptian border. Since they neither patrolled the fence nor constructed effective fortifications behind it the Wire as it became known imposed, in the words of one military historian "a five minute delay on any Bedouin with wire cutters in his blanket roll and a girlfriend on the other side." Then on the 10th of June 1940 Mussolini declared war on France and Britain and the Wire came into its own as a perfectly useless waste of scarce defence funds.
The British forces in Egypt, specifically the 11th Hussars (Earl Cardigan's cherrypickers for those who read Flashman), had no difficulty in making their way through the unguarded wire. On the very night of Mussolini's declaration the Cherrypickers crossed the wire and cheerfully shot up an Italian military convoy, much to the outrage of the occupants. Apparently while Mussolini had informed the public, his allies and his enemies that Italy was at war he hadn't actually bothered to inform his troops in the field. That pretty much set the scene for how the war in the desert would go for Italy. Still not even the Italians were prepared to let it go at that and after a few nights of getting their outposts shot up they decided to reinforce their frontier garrisons.
Which is why on the 16th of June a patrol of the 11th Hussars encountered a long line of Italian trucks "protected", for want of a better word, by a gaggle of their perfectly wretched L3 light tanks. This then is ASL Scenario A61, Across the Wire which pits armoured cars of the 11th Hussars against the 9th Light Tank Battalion of the Italian army with a collection of Italian lorries in a supporting role. Ivan Kent and I sat down to play this at Bears this month. Ivan had never played a desert scenario before and this one was a nice intro with some special rules but not an excessive amount and a manageable number of vehicles. As the defending Italians I had an onboard force of twelve trucks (useless) and six L3s (almost useless) set up nose to tail in single file along a track heading north. Ivan's initial force consisted of two (count them) armoured cars, one Morris and one Rolls Royce each with a -1 armour leader which would sweep in from the east and attempt to do execution amongst the Italian column. Ivan would get another pair of Rolls Royces and another Morris on turn three to help him out. To reinforce my onboard troops I would get a trio of L3s on turn two and another three on turn three two of which would be mounting the 20L antitank rifle in place of their usual machine gun armament. The most formidable piece of firepower I possessed was a 65mm gun carried portee style in one of the trucks. My first order of business would be to get that gun unloaded and in action before Ivan turned the truck it was travelling in to scrap.
To win Ivan's British had to amass six or greater victory points than the Italians. Victory points essentially were gained by killing vehicles and their crews. Each truck was worth two points and each L3 was worth two plus another two if their crew didn't survive. In turn any armoured car of Ivan's I killed was worth three points (plus two more for a dead crew). Considering the sheer volume of helpless vehicles I had on board Ivan was off to a good start before we began playing. Starting on turn three my trucks can exit off the north edge of the board without penalty so essentially the game is a running battle with the trucks racing north as fast as they can while the British try and shoot them up before they get there and the L3s in turn trying to hinder the British as they do so. To add to the Italian's woes their tanks couldn't use platoon movement which means they needed a DR of six or under every turn before they could move at all. Failure froze them into immobility for the rest of the turn, additionally the Italian tank force was considered "inexperienced" and suffered a +1 modifier to all rolls including shooting. Since the British were inconsiderate enough to start the battle in the middle of the day intense heat haze was in effect (hampering accurate shooting) and there was light dust present (hampering accurate shooting), additionally each vehicle would throw up dust as it entered a new hex (hampering etc etc). The difficulty for both of us wouldn't be hitting our opponents but seeing them at all.
I had to set my vehicles up nose to tail facing north on a little track that led to the north edge and freedom. Naturally I had to set up as far south on this track as I could. I set the vehicles up with a couple of trucks in the lead and the L3s sprinkled in between them. Since Ivan could come onto the board anywhere on the east edge I had to give a modicum of protection to the whole column. In the centre of the column and guarded by L3s fore and aft was the truck carrying my precious 65mm. This was a potential game breaker as compared with the other weaponry of both sides it was a veritable monster. Two of my L3s were the rare anti aircraft variant with one of the machine guns mounted on the roof. I set both of these up with the crew exposed to man these guns since one of the (many, many) weaknesses of the L3 is its lack of a turret. By manning these exposed guns I had at least two weapons that could actually shoot in a direction other than the one the tank was travelling in.
Ivan brought his cars in separately, one at the very south end of the board to hit the tail of the column and the other closer to the middle to hit its head. His armoured cars roared up close and pulled up ready for some useful shots next turn. I took a couple of shots at them for the look of it but gained no results (dust, moving, inexperienced crews, heat haze, small target you get the idea). In my turn I set my plan in so far as I had one in motion. The plan was as follows; The L3s were to charge the armoured cars to give them something to think about apart from killing trucks. The lead trucks were to stamp on the accelerator and head north as fast as possible. The trucks in the middle and rear were to move more slowly forward and provide some dust cover for the gun carrying truck which was to stop and unload the 65mm. With that done they too would head for the hills.
Every single one of my L3s failed its movement roll. Since they were pointing north and Ivan had come in from the west four of them couldn't really shoot at anything anyway. Despite this set back my plan unfolded, sort of. The lead trucks did indeed race north away from immediate danger. The rear most truck nosed forward, was hit by fire from an armoured car and promptly burst into flames. What's more it did this while occupying (as I thought, briefly) a hex currently containing one of my L3s which was now choking in smoke and couldn't see a thing. That L3 would refuse to move for the entire game. One of the middle trucks making its dash for freedom was destroyed by Ivan's other armoured car, fortunately no flames this time. In the centre a certain vehicular milling about had produced sufficient dust to provide cover for unloading the gun which I duly did.
Despite the immobile L3s I wasn't disappointed with the turns results, two trucks down (four victory points) it is true but the gun was ready for use, my reinforcements would be on next turn and surely at least some of my L3s would move next time. Ivan's opportunities for carnage were limited by the fact that he had only two armoured cars. He attempted to take out a couple of my immobile L3s but the dust etc etc was causing him issues as well. He moved both cars north to be closer to the fleeing trucks and tried some low odds shots at L3s which didn't come off. We now had a running battle as the scene of the action left my dismounted gun and burning truck behind. My gun took a shot at an armoured car but missed. The L3s did nothing useful. On my second turn most of my trucks made it to the board edge (they couldn't leave until turn three) and cowered in their newly created dust thinking small thoughts. Since the battle was now in the north I brought my reinforcements on there (two aaL3s and a normal L3) to provide a wall of (low grade, highly brittle, badly riveted) steel between them and Ivan's cars. My gun took a second shot at an armoured car and promptly broke itself. So much for the game changer. In turn three Ivan brought on his reinforcements, in the north of course, and attempted to bull his way past my L3s. I had actually managed to get two of my original six moving and had edged a little closer to his vehicles. Ivan sent one car along the northern board edge and attempted to do execution amongst my trucks but fortunately the dust and movement spoiled his efforts. One of his cars managed to hit and immobilise an L3 but immobilisation isn't a kill and while my crew initially fled their vehicle when they saw it wasn't blowing up they got back in and gallantly if inefficiently manned the weapons.
On my turn three my truck drivers gave a sob of heartfelt relief and roared off the board. Ivan tried shooting but some bad luck prevented him getting any hits. I tried to repair my 65mm gun and only succeeded in breaking it completely. The only good news was that Ivan had similarly broken the main armament of one of his cars. Things now looked good for me in my opinion. Despite the loss of my 65mm the trucks had all left the board and with them easy victory points for Ivan. From now on he would have to take out L3s which was harder than it looked as they are very small targets and have at least a little armour. With nine L3s on the board (and three more coming) against five armoured cars I was feeling confident. The L3s can get a kill or two with a bit of luck and they are quite difficult to hit. Although Ivan challenged this assertion by hitting them repeatedly. Ivan now had a car in the south menaced by a trio of L3s, three cars in the centre facing six L3s and one in the far north looking to sneak around behind. In the only kill I made during the entire game an L3 bagged a Rolls Royce in the centre and Ivan's victory point requirements were looking rough. They looked even rougher as my remaining L3s rolled up to augment my northern forces.
Sadly the one thing I didn't seem to be able to do with my L3s was move them. Time after time they failed the movement roll while Ivan waltzed around behind them. In the course of a brutal turn Ivan killed three L3s while my return fire such as it was didn't even scratch his paint. To make matters worse in the process of this occurrence I broke the main armament on two of my remaining tanks. On attempting to repair them both I rolled boxcars and lost them to recall. Or rather I lost one to recall. Ivan waited for the other to turn around and then destroyed it with a rear shot. That happened in the south, up in the north I had finally positioned one of my 20L carrying tanks for a perfect close quarters shot in the rear of an armoured car. I took the shot and hit. It would have to be a very unlucky roll to avoid killing it. It was a very unlucky roll. At this stage with Ivan's victory points skyrocketing and my force dwindling by the minute I had a severe personal morale failure. I had destroyed one car and immobilised another with a lucky shot but that was it. I had one turn to go and Ivan was perfectly placed to kill a couple more of my tanks. I offered to surrender but then thought damn it no so we played on. Ivan killed a couple more of my tanks. I offered to surrender, by this time there really wasn't any option, I had one turn left, most of my remaining vehicles were in dreadful positions due to their refusal to move and even if I had got terribly lucky I doubt if I could have garnered enough points to stop Ivan winning. So I gave up. The Italians were probably wondering what took me so long.
Despite a bit of soul crushing towards the end this was actually quite enjoyable with little armoured things whizzing about (on Ivan's side anyway), trucks charging for exits and loads of low likelihood shots being taken simply due to the lack of any other kind. Thanks to Ivan for the game who probably hasn't heard the word "fuck" quite so many times in one afternoon before and stern disciplinary action against my surviving tanks crews.
The British forces in Egypt, specifically the 11th Hussars (Earl Cardigan's cherrypickers for those who read Flashman), had no difficulty in making their way through the unguarded wire. On the very night of Mussolini's declaration the Cherrypickers crossed the wire and cheerfully shot up an Italian military convoy, much to the outrage of the occupants. Apparently while Mussolini had informed the public, his allies and his enemies that Italy was at war he hadn't actually bothered to inform his troops in the field. That pretty much set the scene for how the war in the desert would go for Italy. Still not even the Italians were prepared to let it go at that and after a few nights of getting their outposts shot up they decided to reinforce their frontier garrisons.
Which is why on the 16th of June a patrol of the 11th Hussars encountered a long line of Italian trucks "protected", for want of a better word, by a gaggle of their perfectly wretched L3 light tanks. This then is ASL Scenario A61, Across the Wire which pits armoured cars of the 11th Hussars against the 9th Light Tank Battalion of the Italian army with a collection of Italian lorries in a supporting role. Ivan Kent and I sat down to play this at Bears this month. Ivan had never played a desert scenario before and this one was a nice intro with some special rules but not an excessive amount and a manageable number of vehicles. As the defending Italians I had an onboard force of twelve trucks (useless) and six L3s (almost useless) set up nose to tail in single file along a track heading north. Ivan's initial force consisted of two (count them) armoured cars, one Morris and one Rolls Royce each with a -1 armour leader which would sweep in from the east and attempt to do execution amongst the Italian column. Ivan would get another pair of Rolls Royces and another Morris on turn three to help him out. To reinforce my onboard troops I would get a trio of L3s on turn two and another three on turn three two of which would be mounting the 20L antitank rifle in place of their usual machine gun armament. The most formidable piece of firepower I possessed was a 65mm gun carried portee style in one of the trucks. My first order of business would be to get that gun unloaded and in action before Ivan turned the truck it was travelling in to scrap.
To win Ivan's British had to amass six or greater victory points than the Italians. Victory points essentially were gained by killing vehicles and their crews. Each truck was worth two points and each L3 was worth two plus another two if their crew didn't survive. In turn any armoured car of Ivan's I killed was worth three points (plus two more for a dead crew). Considering the sheer volume of helpless vehicles I had on board Ivan was off to a good start before we began playing. Starting on turn three my trucks can exit off the north edge of the board without penalty so essentially the game is a running battle with the trucks racing north as fast as they can while the British try and shoot them up before they get there and the L3s in turn trying to hinder the British as they do so. To add to the Italian's woes their tanks couldn't use platoon movement which means they needed a DR of six or under every turn before they could move at all. Failure froze them into immobility for the rest of the turn, additionally the Italian tank force was considered "inexperienced" and suffered a +1 modifier to all rolls including shooting. Since the British were inconsiderate enough to start the battle in the middle of the day intense heat haze was in effect (hampering accurate shooting) and there was light dust present (hampering accurate shooting), additionally each vehicle would throw up dust as it entered a new hex (hampering etc etc). The difficulty for both of us wouldn't be hitting our opponents but seeing them at all.
I had to set my vehicles up nose to tail facing north on a little track that led to the north edge and freedom. Naturally I had to set up as far south on this track as I could. I set the vehicles up with a couple of trucks in the lead and the L3s sprinkled in between them. Since Ivan could come onto the board anywhere on the east edge I had to give a modicum of protection to the whole column. In the centre of the column and guarded by L3s fore and aft was the truck carrying my precious 65mm. This was a potential game breaker as compared with the other weaponry of both sides it was a veritable monster. Two of my L3s were the rare anti aircraft variant with one of the machine guns mounted on the roof. I set both of these up with the crew exposed to man these guns since one of the (many, many) weaknesses of the L3 is its lack of a turret. By manning these exposed guns I had at least two weapons that could actually shoot in a direction other than the one the tank was travelling in.
Ivan brought his cars in separately, one at the very south end of the board to hit the tail of the column and the other closer to the middle to hit its head. His armoured cars roared up close and pulled up ready for some useful shots next turn. I took a couple of shots at them for the look of it but gained no results (dust, moving, inexperienced crews, heat haze, small target you get the idea). In my turn I set my plan in so far as I had one in motion. The plan was as follows; The L3s were to charge the armoured cars to give them something to think about apart from killing trucks. The lead trucks were to stamp on the accelerator and head north as fast as possible. The trucks in the middle and rear were to move more slowly forward and provide some dust cover for the gun carrying truck which was to stop and unload the 65mm. With that done they too would head for the hills.
Every single one of my L3s failed its movement roll. Since they were pointing north and Ivan had come in from the west four of them couldn't really shoot at anything anyway. Despite this set back my plan unfolded, sort of. The lead trucks did indeed race north away from immediate danger. The rear most truck nosed forward, was hit by fire from an armoured car and promptly burst into flames. What's more it did this while occupying (as I thought, briefly) a hex currently containing one of my L3s which was now choking in smoke and couldn't see a thing. That L3 would refuse to move for the entire game. One of the middle trucks making its dash for freedom was destroyed by Ivan's other armoured car, fortunately no flames this time. In the centre a certain vehicular milling about had produced sufficient dust to provide cover for unloading the gun which I duly did.
Despite the immobile L3s I wasn't disappointed with the turns results, two trucks down (four victory points) it is true but the gun was ready for use, my reinforcements would be on next turn and surely at least some of my L3s would move next time. Ivan's opportunities for carnage were limited by the fact that he had only two armoured cars. He attempted to take out a couple of my immobile L3s but the dust etc etc was causing him issues as well. He moved both cars north to be closer to the fleeing trucks and tried some low odds shots at L3s which didn't come off. We now had a running battle as the scene of the action left my dismounted gun and burning truck behind. My gun took a shot at an armoured car but missed. The L3s did nothing useful. On my second turn most of my trucks made it to the board edge (they couldn't leave until turn three) and cowered in their newly created dust thinking small thoughts. Since the battle was now in the north I brought my reinforcements on there (two aaL3s and a normal L3) to provide a wall of (low grade, highly brittle, badly riveted) steel between them and Ivan's cars. My gun took a second shot at an armoured car and promptly broke itself. So much for the game changer. In turn three Ivan brought on his reinforcements, in the north of course, and attempted to bull his way past my L3s. I had actually managed to get two of my original six moving and had edged a little closer to his vehicles. Ivan sent one car along the northern board edge and attempted to do execution amongst my trucks but fortunately the dust and movement spoiled his efforts. One of his cars managed to hit and immobilise an L3 but immobilisation isn't a kill and while my crew initially fled their vehicle when they saw it wasn't blowing up they got back in and gallantly if inefficiently manned the weapons.
On my turn three my truck drivers gave a sob of heartfelt relief and roared off the board. Ivan tried shooting but some bad luck prevented him getting any hits. I tried to repair my 65mm gun and only succeeded in breaking it completely. The only good news was that Ivan had similarly broken the main armament of one of his cars. Things now looked good for me in my opinion. Despite the loss of my 65mm the trucks had all left the board and with them easy victory points for Ivan. From now on he would have to take out L3s which was harder than it looked as they are very small targets and have at least a little armour. With nine L3s on the board (and three more coming) against five armoured cars I was feeling confident. The L3s can get a kill or two with a bit of luck and they are quite difficult to hit. Although Ivan challenged this assertion by hitting them repeatedly. Ivan now had a car in the south menaced by a trio of L3s, three cars in the centre facing six L3s and one in the far north looking to sneak around behind. In the only kill I made during the entire game an L3 bagged a Rolls Royce in the centre and Ivan's victory point requirements were looking rough. They looked even rougher as my remaining L3s rolled up to augment my northern forces.
Sadly the one thing I didn't seem to be able to do with my L3s was move them. Time after time they failed the movement roll while Ivan waltzed around behind them. In the course of a brutal turn Ivan killed three L3s while my return fire such as it was didn't even scratch his paint. To make matters worse in the process of this occurrence I broke the main armament on two of my remaining tanks. On attempting to repair them both I rolled boxcars and lost them to recall. Or rather I lost one to recall. Ivan waited for the other to turn around and then destroyed it with a rear shot. That happened in the south, up in the north I had finally positioned one of my 20L carrying tanks for a perfect close quarters shot in the rear of an armoured car. I took the shot and hit. It would have to be a very unlucky roll to avoid killing it. It was a very unlucky roll. At this stage with Ivan's victory points skyrocketing and my force dwindling by the minute I had a severe personal morale failure. I had destroyed one car and immobilised another with a lucky shot but that was it. I had one turn to go and Ivan was perfectly placed to kill a couple more of my tanks. I offered to surrender but then thought damn it no so we played on. Ivan killed a couple more of my tanks. I offered to surrender, by this time there really wasn't any option, I had one turn left, most of my remaining vehicles were in dreadful positions due to their refusal to move and even if I had got terribly lucky I doubt if I could have garnered enough points to stop Ivan winning. So I gave up. The Italians were probably wondering what took me so long.
Despite a bit of soul crushing towards the end this was actually quite enjoyable with little armoured things whizzing about (on Ivan's side anyway), trucks charging for exits and loads of low likelihood shots being taken simply due to the lack of any other kind. Thanks to Ivan for the game who probably hasn't heard the word "fuck" quite so many times in one afternoon before and stern disciplinary action against my surviving tanks crews.
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Shameless Nutrition Cross Promotion
So, I have a colleague at work who has her own blog. It's about nutrition or health or food or some such. All I can really say is it has lots of pictures of food on it which Monique claims are all her own work. The blog is called cookchewconquer http://www.cookchewconquer.com/ which seems to imply that you can eat your way to world domination. It is a vastly more popular blog than mine which just goes to show the enduring popularity of either food or world domination. I'm writing this blog entry in the hopes of clutching onto the claws of this high flying blog as it swoops past.
This means I have to write a blog entry about nutrition. Nothing simpler; I write about things I don't understand frequently, indeed constantly. I'm hoping that by writing this entry and posting a link to Monique's blog she will do the same for me on her (as I think I mentioned) much more popular blog. I expect a payback Monique.
So, nutrition. What do I know about nutrition? Well I know how to spell it, that's a start right? I know its quite important. Or at least I know that a lot of people think its important which for popularity and revenue generating purposes is pretty much the same thing. It is important enough to fuel blogs, university courses, lifestyle programs and a whole dietary supplement industry. Thus nutrition is pretty damn important if only for the number of people it keeps employed.
Having thus confirmed that nutrition is indeed terribly important we can move on to an understanding of what it actually is. Of course in a sane world we would have come to an understanding first and determined its usefulness later but I think we can all agree that whatever its qualities sanity is not something our world has a surplus of. Incidentally, that's two sentences in a row that ended with a preposition, Winston Churchill would be outraged.
According to wikipedia, which makes up for its accuracy with its availability, nutrition is "the selection of foods and preparation of foods and their ingestion to be assimilated by the body." It would appear that every time I visit McDonalds I am practising nutrition.
Naturally there is more to it than this (sorry Ronald). If one is careful with the aforementioned selection, preparation and ingestion one can be healthier, live longer and have shiny eyes and a glossy coat. Being healthier and living longer are generally considered to be good things. They are certainly better than chronic illness followed by a premature death. At least from the point of view of the protagonist. Those who know him may have a different view.
Human beings actually managed to survived the first couple of hundred thousand years of their existence without making any more nutritional decisions than "has it stopped moving yet?" Furthermore it was people on this somewhat dubious diet who moved human civilisation forward to a point where their descendants could be worried about nutrition. All of which seems to prove that nutrition isn't really necessary.
So if nutrition isn't a necessity what is it? Well, like most things we think we can't do without its a luxury. Lest anyone think I'm overeulogising our nutrition challenged ancestors I would point out their life expectancy was short and what life they did have was riddled with diseases many of them due to poor nutrition. So nutrition is a luxury but a luxury it is very good and useful to have. Think of nutrition in the same way as you would google or heroin. Sure you can do without them but after having tried them for a while you really don't want to.
This means I have to write a blog entry about nutrition. Nothing simpler; I write about things I don't understand frequently, indeed constantly. I'm hoping that by writing this entry and posting a link to Monique's blog she will do the same for me on her (as I think I mentioned) much more popular blog. I expect a payback Monique.
So, nutrition. What do I know about nutrition? Well I know how to spell it, that's a start right? I know its quite important. Or at least I know that a lot of people think its important which for popularity and revenue generating purposes is pretty much the same thing. It is important enough to fuel blogs, university courses, lifestyle programs and a whole dietary supplement industry. Thus nutrition is pretty damn important if only for the number of people it keeps employed.
Having thus confirmed that nutrition is indeed terribly important we can move on to an understanding of what it actually is. Of course in a sane world we would have come to an understanding first and determined its usefulness later but I think we can all agree that whatever its qualities sanity is not something our world has a surplus of. Incidentally, that's two sentences in a row that ended with a preposition, Winston Churchill would be outraged.
According to wikipedia, which makes up for its accuracy with its availability, nutrition is "the selection of foods and preparation of foods and their ingestion to be assimilated by the body." It would appear that every time I visit McDonalds I am practising nutrition.
Naturally there is more to it than this (sorry Ronald). If one is careful with the aforementioned selection, preparation and ingestion one can be healthier, live longer and have shiny eyes and a glossy coat. Being healthier and living longer are generally considered to be good things. They are certainly better than chronic illness followed by a premature death. At least from the point of view of the protagonist. Those who know him may have a different view.
Human beings actually managed to survived the first couple of hundred thousand years of their existence without making any more nutritional decisions than "has it stopped moving yet?" Furthermore it was people on this somewhat dubious diet who moved human civilisation forward to a point where their descendants could be worried about nutrition. All of which seems to prove that nutrition isn't really necessary.
So if nutrition isn't a necessity what is it? Well, like most things we think we can't do without its a luxury. Lest anyone think I'm overeulogising our nutrition challenged ancestors I would point out their life expectancy was short and what life they did have was riddled with diseases many of them due to poor nutrition. So nutrition is a luxury but a luxury it is very good and useful to have. Think of nutrition in the same way as you would google or heroin. Sure you can do without them but after having tried them for a while you really don't want to.
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Time is Occasional
The nature of time, contrary to popular opinion, is not a simple linear progression. It wobbles, it curves and sometimes seems to absent itself completely. On the occasions when it does deign to put in an appearance it seems distressingly uninterested in conforming to the categorisations we have helpfully provided for it. Which means that time isn't just fickle but is an ungrateful little minx as well. This is why an hour can sometimes drag for an eternity or flick past so quickly you could blink and miss it.
Sometimes I've noticed that time just seems to vanish. I have it on reasonable authority that the last five years did happen but I'd be very hard pressed if I had to produce any solid proof that time had actually passed at all. It has been pointed out to me that I simply wasn't paying attention which is probably true but doesn't alter my main point which is that time gets up to some deeply weird shit when it thinks nobody is looking. There are some experiments where the mere act of observation alters the results. Time seems to work the opposite way. It only works if somebody is watching.
Personally I don't think time passes at all except under observation. In my case, having realised I was watching, time hastily dumped five years worth of semi plausible memories into my head and pretended it had been happening all the time. I'm pretty sure I don't remember doing half the things I remember doing. This in itself isn't very impressive until you realise that time is doing the same thing for every single person in the world.
The question is, why? Surely it would be easier to simply unfold in a basic linear progression rather than indulge in all this desperate backing and filling. My opinion is that being time is simply something time does on a part time basis. All the rest of the time time is doing something far more interesting with its time. Every so often it checks in with the office, patches up any holes that have appeared in causality and then goes back to whatever else it was doing. Which raises another question. If time itself is a part time job why do I spend so much of my time at work?
Sometimes I've noticed that time just seems to vanish. I have it on reasonable authority that the last five years did happen but I'd be very hard pressed if I had to produce any solid proof that time had actually passed at all. It has been pointed out to me that I simply wasn't paying attention which is probably true but doesn't alter my main point which is that time gets up to some deeply weird shit when it thinks nobody is looking. There are some experiments where the mere act of observation alters the results. Time seems to work the opposite way. It only works if somebody is watching.
Personally I don't think time passes at all except under observation. In my case, having realised I was watching, time hastily dumped five years worth of semi plausible memories into my head and pretended it had been happening all the time. I'm pretty sure I don't remember doing half the things I remember doing. This in itself isn't very impressive until you realise that time is doing the same thing for every single person in the world.
The question is, why? Surely it would be easier to simply unfold in a basic linear progression rather than indulge in all this desperate backing and filling. My opinion is that being time is simply something time does on a part time basis. All the rest of the time time is doing something far more interesting with its time. Every so often it checks in with the office, patches up any holes that have appeared in causality and then goes back to whatever else it was doing. Which raises another question. If time itself is a part time job why do I spend so much of my time at work?
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
There is Nothing Like a Knight
So, apparently we now have Knights and Dames at the pinnacle of our honours list once again. The queen has graciously consented to sign the letters of patent which will make Knight (or Dame) of the Order of Australia our top honour. One can't help thinking the queen's side of that conversation probably went something like;
"Who?"
"Where?"
"They want what?"
"In god's name, why?"
"Can I say no?"
"Oh well give me the damn pen then"
This restitution has already had an immediate effect. I for one have been humming "There's Nothing Like a Dame" most of the day. The knighthood (or damehood?) will be awarded only to those who "have been called to public service rather choosing it" which quite neatly invalidates all politicians. Tony Abbott may be old fashioned but he's not necessarily stupid. It does mean that the short list is going to consist of various governors and people sentenced to community service rather than gaol time. I guess the selection process hasn't changed appreciably.
I must admit I saw little point in getting rid of knighthoods from our honours list in the first place but once gone I see even less point in bringing them back. To keep an archaic honour system long past its use by date is appropriately traditional. To get rid of it and then sneak it back in several years later smacks too much of pathetic nostalgia and insecurity.
There are some benefits to having knights (and dames) of course. The word "Sir" in front of your name has got to be good for a board seat or two and guarantees that you will find a publisher for your memoirs even if it can't guarantee people will buy them. For those of us who don't have such an honour there is a benefit as well. When the recipient goes to gaol they can be stripped of the honour and since up until that time they will have been known as "Sir" or "Dame" it is going to be very obvious when they can't use it anymore. Alan Bond was stripped of his Order of Australia when he went to gaol but lets face it how many of us actually knew he had it in the first place. At the moment all the criminally minded honour bearers (and judging by how they're awarded that must be a sizeable percentage) lose is a couple of letters after their name that always put me in mind of a censorship board classification.
The first two recipients of the honour will be the outgoing and incoming governor generals. Which raises a rather sneaky thought in my mind. I suspect Tony Abbott came up with the entire idea as a charming, polite and elegant way to make Quentin Bryce look like a total prat. She can either refuse and look ungracious or accept (which she has) which will go down wonderfully around the dinner table with her son in law and at various Australians for a republic meetings.
"Who?"
"Where?"
"They want what?"
"In god's name, why?"
"Can I say no?"
"Oh well give me the damn pen then"
This restitution has already had an immediate effect. I for one have been humming "There's Nothing Like a Dame" most of the day. The knighthood (or damehood?) will be awarded only to those who "have been called to public service rather choosing it" which quite neatly invalidates all politicians. Tony Abbott may be old fashioned but he's not necessarily stupid. It does mean that the short list is going to consist of various governors and people sentenced to community service rather than gaol time. I guess the selection process hasn't changed appreciably.
I must admit I saw little point in getting rid of knighthoods from our honours list in the first place but once gone I see even less point in bringing them back. To keep an archaic honour system long past its use by date is appropriately traditional. To get rid of it and then sneak it back in several years later smacks too much of pathetic nostalgia and insecurity.
There are some benefits to having knights (and dames) of course. The word "Sir" in front of your name has got to be good for a board seat or two and guarantees that you will find a publisher for your memoirs even if it can't guarantee people will buy them. For those of us who don't have such an honour there is a benefit as well. When the recipient goes to gaol they can be stripped of the honour and since up until that time they will have been known as "Sir" or "Dame" it is going to be very obvious when they can't use it anymore. Alan Bond was stripped of his Order of Australia when he went to gaol but lets face it how many of us actually knew he had it in the first place. At the moment all the criminally minded honour bearers (and judging by how they're awarded that must be a sizeable percentage) lose is a couple of letters after their name that always put me in mind of a censorship board classification.
The first two recipients of the honour will be the outgoing and incoming governor generals. Which raises a rather sneaky thought in my mind. I suspect Tony Abbott came up with the entire idea as a charming, polite and elegant way to make Quentin Bryce look like a total prat. She can either refuse and look ungracious or accept (which she has) which will go down wonderfully around the dinner table with her son in law and at various Australians for a republic meetings.
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Birthday Greetings # 35
Happy birthday to Andronikos II Palaiologos, Byzantine emperor. Andronikos became sole ruler of the empire in 1282 (he had been coruler with his father before that) and started out on a reign for which the term "catalogue of disasters" would be a kind, even generous description. In his defence it has to be pointed out that he was starting from a bad position. The Fourth Crusade had effectively destroyed the empire nearly eighty years earlier and the tattered remnants had been struggling along ever since. Andronikos' father had been emperor of Nicaea, the largest and most successful of the Byzantine successor states. In 1261 the Latin Empire of the Crusaders left Constantinople without locking the door and the Byzantines sneaked back into their capital and the empire was officially reborn.
However the financial resources that were adequate for running a midsized nation were not sufficient to rebuild a shattered capital and conduct the desperate diplomacy necessary to stop various western powers from trying to reverse the fait accompli. In addition to this Andronikos' father, in an attempt to suck up to the pope had unilaterally accepted Catholic authority over the empire despite being opposed by virtually everyone else in it. Politically it served its purpose of keeping the westerners at bay for a few critical years but it meant that when Andronikos came to the throne the state was bankrupt, the Turks were restive and his father was reviled so much that Andronikos had to bury him in an unmarked grave.
The kindest thing that can be said about Andronikos is that having inherited a desperate position he was unable to really improve matters. Faced with state bankruptcy he jacked taxes and disbanded most of his army and all of his navy. The Turks said "thank you very much" and wandered into most of the empire's remaining possessions in Asia Minor. Some desperate marriage diplomacy did manage to stop various Balkan marauders from overrunning what little was left of the empire's European territories but even so if they had tried there was little enough Andronikos could have done to stop them.
Having disbanded his army Andronikos then had to resort to mercenaries (not the cheapest of options) to defend his territories in Asia Minor. He hired the Catalan Company a fierce band of well armed and organised professional soldiers led by a disgraced Templar. These guys certainly gave the Turks a decent beating but when they submitted their bill all Andronikos could do was whistle and look at the ceiling. Since the Catalans were now about the only effective military force in the empire they simply extorted vast promises of pay and when this looked unlikely to turn up threatened to take it by force (something they'd already been doing quite a bit of to the point where the imperial citizens they were protecting were looking forward to getting conquered by the Turks).
What happened next is a little cloudy but Andronikos' son invited Roger de Flor the Catalan's leader to dinner during the course of which Roger was murdered. The Catalans promptly elected a new commander and rampaged through the empire so thoroughly that there was little left for the Turks to conquer. Having looted everything not nailed down the Catalans moved into Greece (still mostly being ruled by descendants of the western crusaders) smashed the rulers of Athens and settled down to run the place instead. Meanwhile with the only effective defence gone the Turks captured most of Byzantine Asia Minor, permanently.
Things got worse for Andronikos after that. The ruler of Bulgaria defeated his son Michael (who had a habit of getting defeated in battle) and occupied north eastern Thrace. Then his grandson accidentally had his father murdered. The grandson (another Andronikos) had been having a dalliance with a lady and suspected infidelity. He hired a gang of thugs to wait outside the ladies home. Apparently by pure coincidence his father, Manuel, happened to be walking by and the thugs beat to death. Whatever his own faults Andronikos (senior) could be forgiven for thinking his grandson was unfit for the throne and he promptly disinherited the lad. The "lad" raised his own army and in an eight year civil war defeated his grandfather, captured Constantinople and took over what was left of the empire. Andronikos was forced to retire and become a monk which after forty ghastly years on the throne probably came as something of a relief.
However the financial resources that were adequate for running a midsized nation were not sufficient to rebuild a shattered capital and conduct the desperate diplomacy necessary to stop various western powers from trying to reverse the fait accompli. In addition to this Andronikos' father, in an attempt to suck up to the pope had unilaterally accepted Catholic authority over the empire despite being opposed by virtually everyone else in it. Politically it served its purpose of keeping the westerners at bay for a few critical years but it meant that when Andronikos came to the throne the state was bankrupt, the Turks were restive and his father was reviled so much that Andronikos had to bury him in an unmarked grave.
The kindest thing that can be said about Andronikos is that having inherited a desperate position he was unable to really improve matters. Faced with state bankruptcy he jacked taxes and disbanded most of his army and all of his navy. The Turks said "thank you very much" and wandered into most of the empire's remaining possessions in Asia Minor. Some desperate marriage diplomacy did manage to stop various Balkan marauders from overrunning what little was left of the empire's European territories but even so if they had tried there was little enough Andronikos could have done to stop them.
Having disbanded his army Andronikos then had to resort to mercenaries (not the cheapest of options) to defend his territories in Asia Minor. He hired the Catalan Company a fierce band of well armed and organised professional soldiers led by a disgraced Templar. These guys certainly gave the Turks a decent beating but when they submitted their bill all Andronikos could do was whistle and look at the ceiling. Since the Catalans were now about the only effective military force in the empire they simply extorted vast promises of pay and when this looked unlikely to turn up threatened to take it by force (something they'd already been doing quite a bit of to the point where the imperial citizens they were protecting were looking forward to getting conquered by the Turks).
What happened next is a little cloudy but Andronikos' son invited Roger de Flor the Catalan's leader to dinner during the course of which Roger was murdered. The Catalans promptly elected a new commander and rampaged through the empire so thoroughly that there was little left for the Turks to conquer. Having looted everything not nailed down the Catalans moved into Greece (still mostly being ruled by descendants of the western crusaders) smashed the rulers of Athens and settled down to run the place instead. Meanwhile with the only effective defence gone the Turks captured most of Byzantine Asia Minor, permanently.
Things got worse for Andronikos after that. The ruler of Bulgaria defeated his son Michael (who had a habit of getting defeated in battle) and occupied north eastern Thrace. Then his grandson accidentally had his father murdered. The grandson (another Andronikos) had been having a dalliance with a lady and suspected infidelity. He hired a gang of thugs to wait outside the ladies home. Apparently by pure coincidence his father, Manuel, happened to be walking by and the thugs beat to death. Whatever his own faults Andronikos (senior) could be forgiven for thinking his grandson was unfit for the throne and he promptly disinherited the lad. The "lad" raised his own army and in an eight year civil war defeated his grandfather, captured Constantinople and took over what was left of the empire. Andronikos was forced to retire and become a monk which after forty ghastly years on the throne probably came as something of a relief.
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