A Rare Moment of Triumph

Glory has been showered on my unworthy head.  Or at least I was standing nearby when glory showered and I managed to stick my unworthy head in far enough to get it damp.  Yes, today I am triumphant as are half a dozen or so other far more deserving individuals.  Our corporate soccer team in which I (for want of a better term) play won our local competition.  I bask in an unaccustomed sense of achievement and self regard.  All of the effort, the minutes of preparation, the remembering to bring my shoes it was all worth it.  Let me see if I can gaze through the rose tinted fog and paint a picture for you.

At midday we left the office and headed into a crisp Autumn day.  The sun smiled on our ambitions and the scent of victory was in the air (Victory by Giorgio Armani which a disinterested relative had foisted on me at Christmas).  As we approached the ground an excited crowd greeted us.  As it turned out the excited crowd was there for the previous match and they all buggered off before we started playing but it was still pretty heady stuff.

We warmed up on the field practicing kicking the ball far over the goal mouth or, in my case, just practicing kicking the ball.  I managed it once or twice but then it was time for the match to start and I would have to put my new found skills to use.  Fortunately team spirit had bubbled over in us and we actually had enough people to field a team and have substitutes.  I took up a position on the sideline and waited for one of the real players to have a heart attack.

We dominated early in the half, taking a 2-0 lead thanks to the skills of Carly and generally ran rings around the opposition.  Then I got my chance. I ran onto the field, eager to prove my worth. By the time I ran off again the score was 2-2.  I like to think this was largely a coincidence.  My principal contribution was to kick the ball into the face of one of my team mates (sorry Carly).  Fortunately the rest of my team is composed of people who can actually play soccer.  With our backs against the wall the team rallied (except for me, I was exhausted after a five metre sprint to where the ball was some time previously).  Both teams went scoreless in the second half and the match went into extra time.

For every minute of extra time a player had to be removed from each team which was fortunate as it gave us a chance to, shall we say, emphasise the skills of our more talented players.  Nevertheless by the time the referee wanted to wander off and have a cigarette the score was still 2-2.  In desperation he announced that the match would go to penalties.  I don't actually know what this means but it involved all of us taking a turn at kicking the ball in the general direction of the goal.  This is what both teams had been doing all game but now apparently it was important.  Here the innate talents and hard earned skill of the other members of my team paid off and we wrapped the penalties up before anybody had to point me in the direction of the ball.  Victory was ours.

And not just a competition victory either.  My colleague Anna picked up the most valuable player award for the competition.  To the victors the spoils:  the spoils consisting of chicken, buns and beer, just the thing before heading back to a hard afternoon's work in the office.  Still we can't rest on our laurels.  The new competition starts next week and suddenly we have a title and a reputation to defend.  Every other team will be wanting to take us down a peg and we will need to be right on our game to maintain this winning streak.  As for me, I'll make a special effort to remember my shoes.