Figs Aren't Vegan

Figs are not vegan.  This stunning and, on the face of it, implausible news was delivered to me by my nutritionist co-worker courtesy of a comment on her blog.  Apparently when you eat a fig you are chowing down on wasp bits.  And fig bits of course.  Considerably more fig than wasp but nevertheless if figs were packaged the packages would have to say "may contain traces of wasp".

Figs contain traces of wasp due to one of those weird arse pieces of craziness that nature gets up to if it isn't properly supervised.  Figs and a particular species of wasp share a symbiotic relationship.  The wasp flys into a specifically provided opening in the fig, pollinating it en route, and lays its eggs.  On hatching the male wasp larvae chew their way to the surface to provide an exit route for the female wasps who buzz off and find another fig pollinating it in its turn.  Nature can be wonderful but what it mostly is is bizarre.

Thus, due to the prevalence of wasp bits, figs cannot be vegan.  Since wasps of various types also lay their eggs in spiders, larvae, beetles, caterpillars and other wasps these things cannot be considered vegan either.  So vegans; put down that fig and caterpillar sandwich for you are feasting on the corpses of wasps.  As if that was the principal thing wrong with that sentence.

Whether the presence of incidental wasp components should be of overriding concern to the vegan community is debateable.  Like most things that are debateable it is vigorously debated.  Vegans of both pro and con fig camps discuss the implications of accidental wasp consumption.  On the one hand some see it as the thin end of the wedge.  A wasp is an animal, therefore if you eat it you can't be a vegan.  Today its a delicious fig, tomorrow you're savaging sheep to death in the fields.  The other side respectfully points out that this is insane, that the wasp was not in any way killed for the benefit of humans (although apparently its ok to rip a fig from its mother plant and devour it), there is no cruelty involved (except perhaps to the fig) and by the way did we mention this is insane?

My personal view, if I may raise my head dripping with gore from a freshly slaughtered carcass to comment, is that figs cannot be vegan.  Not when they are liberally strewn with wasp offcuts.  Symbiotic relationship or not the wasps are there and fig eaters eat them.  What is needed is a new term for otherwise vegan fig eaters.  May I be the first to suggest "Insectivorous Vegan".  That covers all bases nicely and lets face it once you've told people you're a vegan they're not going to be particularly surprised at any other dietary idiosyncrasy you might present.  Best of all this designation would allow the insectivorous vegan to enjoy the fig and caterpillar sandwich I mentioned earlier without a hint of guilt.  Your welcome.