Two Koreas But Four Options

A UN report was issued recently which accused the North Korean government (or regime as we call governments we don't like) of widespread human rights abuses against its own people.  Apparently charity isn't the only thing that begins at home.  I must admit I was shocked.  Who would have thought that a bat crazy, relentlessly tyrannical, bizarrely nepotistic, communist regime ruled by a family whose gene pool appears to be getting shallower by the generation would do nasty things to their people?  Well everybody really.  The UN report is really only of use so that everyone can reference it to justify whatever it is they do about North Korea.

 So, what are the worlds governments going to do now that North Korean government hideousness is the subject of an official UN document rather than merely being an accepted fact?  The actual number of response options is surprisingly small.  There really are only about four things governments can do.  These are;

• Nothing.  This is the default option and it usually works.  Which is to say if you don't actually live in North Korea you can get on with your life.  It is cheap and doesn't commit a government to anything

• Wild pontification.  This is extremely popular with governments that want to be seen to be doing something (without, you know, actually doing something).  It is also popular in academic circles and with uni students and activists generally.  It lets people know "where you stand" and is valuable for getting your upright moral position firmly on the record.

• Impose sanctions.  One step up from wild pontification this has all the advantages of the former while also giving the impression you are actually doing something.  To be successful sanctions rather rely on the government we have just identified as being crazily sadistic caring sufficiently about its people to worry about the effects of damage to the economy.

• Invade, lay waste to the land, poison the wells and plough the fields with salt.  This is the only effective option but it does tend to get rather expensive.  It is also guaranteed to absolutely infuriate everybody who chose options 1 to 3.  It is also likely to infuriate the people you are putatively trying to help.  It will cost you time, blood, treasure and public opinion and at the end of the day the people who wind up running the country you attacked will almost certainly hate your guts.  And this is the successful option.

So, what will the world do about North Korea?  I suspect that the planet's statesmen will select a judicious blend of the first three options while waiting for North Korea to descend into a welter of blood spattered anarchy and civil war all on its own.  Once that happens the question of what to do about the regime in North Korea will have answered itself. Of course we will then have the question of  "What do we do about the ongoing anarchy and civil war in North Korea?"  Well, there are four options...