Avoiding Dessication

My helpful work colleagues have seen fit to bring it to my attention that if I were adrift in the middle of the ocean I would likely die of starvation due to my reluctance to eat what they refer to as sea dwelling animals.  My distaste for the fruits of the ocean is a never ending source of simple amusement for the people I work with.  Vigorous debates are held to determine whether or not I could eat duck or seagull because of the amount of their life they spend in contact with water as if it is proximity to fluids that causes my reluctance.

For the record I will happily eat duck although it isn't my favourite and as for seagull it is their likely proximity to garbage bins rather than the ocean which is liable to put me off.  Still the (in my view somewhat overenthusiastic) discussion of my likely starvation should I ever be lost at sea did get me worried.  Because they're right.  What if I were adrift in the middle of the ocean?  How would I survive?  What would I eat?  Where would I go to the bathroom?

With cold sweat trickling down my spine and visions of my dessicated, gull torn corpse being hauled out of a lifeboat (possibly only minutes after going in) I decided I had to prepare against the day when the ship I was unaccountably on collided with an iceberg (or Italy).  A couple of assumptions have to be made first.  To begin with I'm going to assume I was alive when I hit the ocean.  If not dessication is going to be the least of my worries.  Secondly I'm going to assume that I wound up on a raft or in a lifeboat because otherwise drowning will solve my problems well before dessication becomes an issue.

So, here I am in a lifeboat.  The shattered wreck of whatever vessel I was travelling in is slipping beneath the waves and it looks like I'm going to be in the ocean for the duration.  Perhaps the most important thing is to ensure I have company.  Having other people around means help with bailing, it means company and most importantly they provide a ready source of non sea dwelling protein.  Secondly we'll need a first aid kit and some harpoons or better yet, a spear gun.  The ocean is a dangerous place and you don't want to be trying to fight off a great white or the kraken with a set of table napkins.  Also of course they can be useful for subduing your alternate protein source should they object to the role you have allocated to them.  Flare guns and lengths of rope will be helpful for the same reasons.

Finally, I'll need a book to stave off boredom between snacks, particularly if (for whatever reason) my fellow survivors haven't made it this far.  With these simple precautions in place I can take ship with a light heart on even the most dubious of seagoing vessels.  The only thing I have to do now is find a plausible reason to present to the authorities to explain how I managed to kill and eat forty seven fellow passengers on a fifteen minute ferry trip to Rose Bay.

Tune in next time for another nautically themed blog entry tentatively entitled "Fun With Krill".