Honestly, Why Islands?

Island dwellers across the Pacific are getting nervous about global warming drowning their homes. I don't know how island dwellers in the Atlantic feel about it, perhaps nobody asked them. Meanwhile in Mexico, Guatemala, Papua New Guinea, Montserrat and Kamchatka in Russia volcanoes are busy adding to the amount of land on the earth's surface. Would it be churlish to suggest that anybody worried about their country sinking should move to a place where it seems to be rising?

I've never really quite understood islands. Oh they can be picturesque I know but what are they for? I can't help feeling that they were created solely to provide employment for hyperactive cartographers. Every ocean, every sea even most rivers and lakes seem to have a sprinkling of what can only be described as geological pimples. The Channel Islands off the coast of France are a good example of this. Jersey, Guernsey and I think there's another one called Pullover. What on earth is the point of Guernsey? It just sits there doing nothing but being a menace to navigation and helping the less scrupulous amongst us evade tax.

I'm sure the population of Guernsey (is there one?) would take umbrage at the above comment. They would point to their proud traditions (is tax evasion a proud tradition? Possibly on Guernsey) and their cultural achievements (breeding bonsai cattle is a cultural achievement?) and of course their long and distinguished history. The long and distinguished history of Guernsey consisted of sticking with King John of England after he got kicked out of Normandy (perhaps they felt that being ruled by a perennial loser would result in less interference) followed by several centuries of piracy (since abandoned in favour of more efficient methods of extracting money from the wealthy) and a brief period of being occupied by the Germans during World War II.

Yes, ok I've been mean to Guernsey. I could have picked on the Scilly Isles or Spitzbergen or Niuafo'ou for that matter to bring things a little closer to home. Niuafo'ou is an island in Tonga and was evacuated in 1947 following (you guessed it) a volcanic eruption. In a typical example of the human race's inability to take a hint many people have since returned. I suppose this is the thing about islands, people like living on them. They must do, there really is no better explanation for why people continue to live in some of these places. I must admit I like living on this island but this island is almost three million square miles (eat that Greenland) so I don't think it really counts.

In some of my more introspective moments I like to think of where I might wish to retire to. My mind turns to places like Skye, the Faroes, the Orkneys and (when I'm thinking big) Tasmania. Guess what all these places have in common?