Going Up in the World

It would appear that my apartment block is on a self improvement kick.  I came home the other day and the first thing I saw were freshly installed mirrors on poles in the driveway to assist motorists in not hitting things.  Actually the first thing I saw was a massive transit van making rather heavy weather out of reversing out of the driveway but once it was gone the second thing I saw was the mirrors which must have made the driver's life marginally easier.

Four of these concave (or possibly convex, they're definitely con-something) mirrors now stand proudly at the fringes of the driveway lending an air of spurious class to my decaying 1950s apartment block.  One gazes at them in all their glittery, reflective glory and can only assume that this must be the domicile of well heeled, thrusting professional types who can demand such driveway accessories so their late model sports cars and monstrously oversized SUVs don't get their fringes scratched on the way out of the driveway.  This is an impression that lasts until you tear your eyes away from the mirrors and cast them upon the apartment block they are decorating.  The let down must be extreme.  At that point you assume the mirrors have been installed so that the garbage trucks stored there don't bang into each other.

Presumably the mirrors are there to assist vehicles in the arduous task of entering and exiting the driveway.  The only other possibility is that somebody is going to bounce a ruby laser off them as part of some sort of low rent doomsday weapon.  If you hear word that an apartment block in Marrickville has taken over the world you know what happened.  Personally I would be surprised if anyone in my block has ambitions higher than low level meth dealer but I suppose everybody can dream.

 

While drivers may be grateful for their presence I have to admit that my own experience so far has been a little more problematic.  I shambled out of my driveway at 7.30 the next morning having completely forgotten their existence and nearly screamed when I looked up to find my distorted head gazing down at me from on high.  Let me tell you that a bloated version of my face is not want you want to see first thing in the morning if you want to maintain mental equilibrium for the remainder of the day.  You particularly don't want to see it a couple of feet above your head and apparently not attached to a body.  Once I got over the shock I attempted to slink out of the driveway without registering on a reflective surface.  I wasn't too successful in this as reflecting things slinking out of the driveway is pretty much why the mirrors have been installed.

Of course now I know they're there I can take advantage of the fact to cut some time out of my personal grooming regime.  From now on I'll be able to shave as I walk up the driveway.  Naturally the other people in my block will probably find this a bit weird but to be fair it isn't the most antisocial thing they've caught me doing in the driveway.