Vindication!!!

 They said I was mad.  They said I was deluded.  They said I was a wretched good for nothing degenerate who was an embarrassment to my family in particular and the human race in general.  To be fair it was only my self esteem counselor who said that.  I'm thinking of getting rid of him but every time I broach the subject he threatens suicide.  Now however I can laugh at such criticism, albeit with a touch of hysteria, for my orchid has flowered.

Several years ago during one of the periodic location reshuffles my firm undergoes to maintain a healthy sense of uncertainty and dread amongst its employees we were presented with small flowering orchids as a sort of "welcome to your new home until the next reshuffle" gift.  Time passed and so did most of the orchids.  My orchid however clung to life like an octopus with a muscle spasm.  Despite neglect, recycled air, lack of direct sunlight and frequent swearing it survived and when the small pot it was provided with proved inadequate it extruded tentacles that are now in serious danger of taking over my entire workspace.  In short it gave every evidence of being determined to survive except one.  It was flowering when I got it but since that time it has not flowered since.  

It actually looks like an octopus wearing a wreath

 

I obediently followed the care guide which was provided with the orchid (it consisted of "water occasionally") and I was pleased to see that the orchid repaid me by not dying.  However flowers were there none.  Eventually as the years rolled by I stopped expecting flowers and took what comfort I could from the fact that the plant was starting to look more and more like the face hugger creature from Alien.

Roots (at least I presume they're roots) exploded out of the small pot and made their way along my workstation.  I can't help wondering if this is one of those orchids that normally clings to trees rather than growing in the ground.  I should repot the thing I suppose but I'm terrified of moving it in case I break whatever magic keeps it clinging to life.  If nothing else it encourages me not to fall asleep at my desk as I'm afraid I'll wake covered in roots with the orchid sucking the life out of me.  My employers would probably hope there are other reasons why I wouldn't fall asleep at my desk but whatever works I say.

This is actually a different photo

 

Purple white flowers now adorn what was in truth a rather battered looking orchid and a series of buds promise more on the way.  Little work has been achieved in our team over the last fortnight or so as I insist on demanding that everybody who passes pay homage to the orchid (and indirectly myself for my amazing care).  I like to think of it as a team building exercise.  Certainly all of my colleagues are united in increasingly desperate attempts to get me to shut up about the damned orchid already.

The same orchid from a different angle

 

I doubt if I will ever get to Nero Wolfe standards of orchid rearing, not least because I don't intend to try but I have to confess I am quite ridiculously pleased about the fact that it appears to be not only surviving but in a somewhat disheveled way actually thriving.  So pleased in fact that I wrote an entire blog entry about it.