Travelling Pathetically - Round and Round the Garden Edition

 I tightened the laces on my shoes, checked my water bottle and took a deep breath.  After the coughing fit subsided I took a more carefully managed breath.  I was ready, behind me serried ranks of plush toys lined up to bid me what might be a final farewell.  Actually that wasn't quite true, the plague doctor was in the spare room dissecting a cadaver provided by my tech support (he seemed vaguely familiar but I didn't like to ask) but the puffin and the platypus were indeed looking at me with what I chose to interpret as an awestruck disbelief in my heroism and not at all a weary incredulity at my stupidity.

"I'm off," I announced.

"That explains the smell," muttered the puffin.

With the spirit of adventure in my heart and an uplifting song on my lips I strode boldly forward.  One pace, two and then out onto my balcony.

"In the name of God will you please stop singing."

I looked back to see which of my plush toys had made the offending remark but it turned out to be pretty much all of my neighbours in unison.

Yes this is what I have been reduced to.  Bold sojourns through the leafier parts of Sydney have been abandoned in favour of simply stepping outside my apartment.  It is a measure of my boredom that I have actually written a blog entry about walking around the outside of my home.  It is a measure of your assumed boredom that I think you might read it.

Before entering the outdoors proper I did indeed step onto my balcony for a birds eye view of my destination.  Something else with a birds eye view of my destination was a cockatoo sitting in the tree outside my apartment.  I'm quite fond of this tree as it blocks my view of the garbage bins.  Also it provides a home to the occasional cockatoo.

If I don't survive maybe he can lead rescuers to my body

Having examined the terrain and persuaded the cockatoo that I wasn't food I left my apartment and struck boldly out into the mediocre known.  My apartment complex consists of two large honey brick coloured buildings.  In fact the term "complex" isn't really appropriate.  I actually live in an apartment simple.  In between the buildings is a concrete path and a small amount of garden.  The garden is to give the impression of a certain amount of nature and as far as I can tell the concrete path exists to give residents dogs something to shit on. 

Once I was out among the trees (well, tree) my mood improved.  Possibly putting some distance between myself and a passive aggressive platypus, a sado-masochistic puffin and a scalpel happy plague doctor might have something to do with that.  I pulled out my camera to document the wonders of nature that unfolded before my eyes.

This is the same tree as before with garbage bin lids carefully cropped out

Shall we say that documenting the wonders of nature didn't exactly occupy a great deal of my time.  Nevertheless I did my best, strolling down the concrete path to the pool enclosure desperately trying to photograph anything that didn't look like it was slapped together by second rate builders in the 1950s.  It is a measure of how times have changed that the sight of a masked person creeping around the grounds of the building taking photographs didn't actually excite any adverse comment from my neighbours.  Either that or my neighbours are up to their own dubious activities and figure live and let live is probably the wisest solution.

Whatever the reason I wasn't apprehended and lynched by a rampaging mob of concerned citizens.  Indeed the concerned citizens were noticeable by their complete absence.  Either they were cringing under their beds hiding from disease or were boldly roaming the earth contributing to its spread.  Whatever the reason it meant I had the grounds of the building to myself.

Incidentally I say "grounds"; that no doubt conjures up a vision of sweeping lawns, sculpted trees and possibly a faux gothic folly on an island in an artificial lake.  What it actually means is a few plants and a concrete path not entirely devoid of dogshit.

These are clustered around the foot of the aforementioned tree.  As you can see the cockatoos haven't missed them either

A couple of the more elderly residents do indeed attempt to keep the growing things growing which is nice and gives them something to do now that the police are cracking down on geriatric street gangs.  These efforts have resulted in occasional patches of colour amongst the green such as the above.

On arriving at the pool enclosure I took a hard right and readied myself for the trek to the clotheslines. 

 Are you still reading this incidentally?  I can't imagine why.  

Something red and spiky caught my attention for a moment until I realised it was only another plant then I took a picture and moved on.

It's red and spiky, in these times of lowered standards that seemed like a good enough reason for a photo

Only there wasn't very much to move on to.  Between my building and the next property along there is a narrow strip which provides accomodation for clotheslines.  The clotheslines run out about halfway along at which point the strip seems to lose all reason for existence and only continues because they hadn't yet run out of land.

Having dodged my way past various collections of low hanging clothing, it was raining but apparently that doesn't bother some people, I was able to enjoy a broad patch of green.  That is if your definition of broad is about ten feet wide and flanked by brick walls and fences.  There was another tree though.

See, another tree!

With the excitement reserves of a narrow strip on land now exhausted I retraced my steps and once again pirouetted around increasingly damp clothing as I headed towards the rear of the simple.  Along the way I took a photo of some pretty pink plant among rocks.  I did this largely because the more photos I pad this entry out with the fewer words I'll need to use.

Look! Pink! Rocky!

I was heading away from the miracles of nature now and heading to where concrete reigned.  This was the rear building in my simple and (in the opinion of those of us in the other building) the lower rent section.  It is also where the vehicle corral is located.  Behind the building is a waterhole which featured briefly on the news a couple of years ago when heavy rains put adjacent buildings in danger of sliding into it.  It might look nice but fortunately whoever built my apartments thoughtfully constructed a high fence so that nobody can see it from our end.  It's presence is only apparent due to the prevalence of ibis and our spectacularly high mosquito population in the Summer months.

I was coming to the end of my journey unless I wanted to clamber into a neighbours backyard (for the record I didn't) so I swung up the driveway heading for the more affluent front building where I could be among my own kind.  My own kind to the best of my knowledge being a gay couple downstairs, a lovely Laotian lady who lives next door to me and a cute girl from Singapore with a nose ring.  On the way I used my camera to scrape the absolute bottom of the barrel in the way of "nature" photos.

Bottom of the barrel exhibit A

One my return I was met by my platypus weeping in relief.

"I thought I'd never see you again."

"I've been gone five minutes."

"Yes but the puffin changed the locks."