Plague Update #54

 I stared with increasing despair at the information flooding my computer screen.  Then I flicked from an assessment of my cryptocurrency investments to check out how my state was handling the latest covid outbreak.  Not well, seems to be a good assessment.  We are paying for a sluggish lockdown and an even more sluggish vaccination program.

"Look at this," I said to my puffin.  "Five kilometre limit, outdoors for shopping and exercise only and I can't even have any visitors."

"Nobody visited anyway," replied my puffin.

"You're not helping."

"Don't worry, you've still got us," chirped my platypus cheerfully.

I may have suffered a slight psychotic break at this point.  When I recovered such of my senses as hadn't packed their bags years ago I was just in time to stop my plague doctor opening a vein in an attempt to balance my humours.  I assured him my humours were as balanced as the rest of me which didn't comfort him as much as I had hoped.

We really have made a mess of this.  The states daily infection rates climb inexorably towards the four figure mark and our premier seems to be getting increasingly irritated at the fact people are persisting in getting sick.  I personally have never felt healthier possibly because sitting on a couch staring at the ceiling doesn't really require much in the way of physical fitness.

Still there is good news of a sort.  As an individual living alone (a collection of pushy plush toys apparently don't count) I am entitled to a bubble buddy.  This is a random individual (although preferably someone you know) who is permitted to visit you to ensure that you don't go completely insane.  I'm currently checking to see if there's an escort agency within five kilometres of my home.

While I await the visit of what I shall euphemistically describe as a mental health services professional I am scanning the news from our immediate neighbours.  None of it seems good.  There were violent protests in Melbourne and on the border with Queensland a crowd was threatening to surge across the border.  Seriously, to get into Queensland?  Why?  Even New Zealand has seen a sudden outburst of covid courtesy of a visitor from NSW.  Sorry guys, our bad.

Our national unity, always more notional than real, is fraying at the edges as various parts of the nation ostracize other parts with somewhat more justification than they can usually trot out.  I personally don't think that the NSW outbreak will get under control until we've reached an appropriate vaccination level.  At that point we'll be able to leave the house again as long as we don't try and leave the state assuming that we're not the independent republic of New South Wales by that point.  Meanwhile, just for context, over eleven thousand people died of covid in the last twenty four hours.  Three of them were in Australia.