Silly After Action Report - Extra Curricular Activities

Captain Mikhail Kaleideskop looked out of the window of the hospital at a T-34 tank that had just parked in the grounds.  The hatch opened and a tanker popped his head out and looked around.

"Is this Berlin?" asked the tanker fumbling for a cigarette.

"Too much baroque," replied Kaleideskop, "it must be Budapest."

"Is that near Berlin?"

"I don't know, probably."

The tanker stared at the hospital in amazement.

"They've got electric lights, the bourgeoisie bastards."

Kaleideskop nodded sympathetically.  In the Soviet Union surgeons worked side by side with the peasants in heroic candle light.  It was no wonder that the Hungarian military was crap when they wasted their resources on things like light for hospitals.  Speaking of the Hungarian military.

"Look down there, they look like they're going to attack."

The tanker peered in the direction the captain was pointing, "What's written on the front of that assault gun?"

"Down with skool," replied Kaleideskop, "they must be university students."

The Paddington Bears, our gaming club (think less about charming children's stories and more about hairy guys in leather) having been shunted online due to the ongoing plague situation I reached out through the ether to contact Richard Weilly and play a VASL game.  The scenario chosen was ASL 122 - Extra Curricular Activity set in late 1944 Budapest where a bunch of Hungarian university students backed by some Zrinyi self propelled guns were given the thankless task of relieving a battle hungry Soviet army of the hospital it had just captured.  Since this scenario is taking place in Budapest there are no prizes for guessing how the war was going for the Hungarians at this point.

Nevertheless the Hungarians, ably commanded by Rich, are on the attack.  The Soviets, somewhat less ably commanded by me, are defending.  Richard has sixteen first line Hungarian squads to do the attacking.  These are augmented by five light machine guns and led by four officers of varying competency levels.  Rumbling forward in support are four zrinyi assault guns each armed with a 105mm howitzer.

To hold off this pack of undergraduates gone rogue I have ten squads of first line Soviet infantry commanded by three decent officers and equipped with two anti tank rifles, two light machine guns and a hernia inducing hmg.  To keep the Hungarian armour at bay I have a pair of T34-85 tanks.  In addition to everything else both of us can attempt to beat information out of passing civilians.  Perhaps unsurprisingly neither of us could find a convenient civilian wandering about the battlefield looking to be helpful.  The victory conditions are simple; Richard's Hungarians need to have more unbroken squads in building B2 (conveniently marked with a big yellow V) at the end of the game than I did.

I was permitted to set up four squads in the victory building but being the reckless devil may care guy that I am I made do with three including the hmg and my best leader.  I parked a T34 next to the building guarding an approach road and set up the bulk of my forces in the north to defend behind a road that bisected the battlefield north to south.  In the south  I had a handful of squads and my other T-34 to stop him trotting cheerily down the road.  I also had a couple of expendables forward to act as speed humps.

Richard bulked up in the north but with sixteen squads to play with he was also able to lavish some attention on the south.  He set up a zrinyi looking straight down the road from my southerly T-34 and promptly stunned the crew since I had been silly enough to set up CE.  In the north another zrinyi dumped smoke on my defences and a second sleazed one of my speed humps and suddenly his attack was up in my face.  In the north his troops charged into close combat and I promptly left as quickly as I could although not before generating the worlds most useless leader.

End of Hungarian turn 1. 

In my turn my recently unstunned T-34 fired on his Zrinyi without effect while masses of 347s mobbed the sole squad I had guarding the road.  They didn't last long and things didn't help when a successful morale check sent them berserk.  Successful isn't really the right term for that morale check.  In the centre another squad faced with similar life expectancy decided to not go quietly into the night.  He charged into close combat with a pair of Hungarian squads and challenged the goulash munching nancy boys to do their worst.  In the course of two turns that squad killed a 9-1 leader, an entire Hungarian squad, generated a leader of their own and then died a noble death against overwhelming odds.  All of which gave me a bit of time to get my defences in order, it isn't really their fault that I didn't.  My newly minted 6+1 leader in the far north shepherded a squad towards the rear.  Rich fired out of smoke and pinned the squad and succeeded in breaking and disrupting the leader.  That was pretty much the end of his involvement in the game except for a brief cameo appearance as a prisoner at which point I shot him.

End of Soviet turn 1

In the south in response to the fact that my tank crew were now hiding behind metal Richard's zrinyi dropped a smoke round into his hex but then he went once too often to the well and intensive fired in the hopes of dropping another smoke round.  Instead he malfunctioned the gun and that one was zrinyi out of the fight.  Only one zrinyi would survive the battle, of the three that died I only killed one.

With his zrinyis belching smoke and his troops just belching (its all that goulash) Richard moved forward aided in the south by the fact that my berserk troops cheerfully threw themselves onto Hungarian bayonets and died a swift and messy death.  Richard's principal worry at this point was leadership.  He started with four, the 9-1 died in CC and my sniper wacked a 7-0 leaving him with two.  Sadly they would prove more than enough.  He worked a zrinyi round to the south to replace the one currently fleeing up the road to Vienna and with my berserkers dead started to infiltrate round my southern flank.  In the north the melee raged on but he incremented other troops forward.

There's so much smoke it should come with a health warning

Richard now had a solid line in the north and the 105mm on his two zrinyis up there started shooting his troops forward.  Well actually they started shooting my troops backward.  Richard's troops just trotted in afterwards.  Still the battle for the next building went on for a couple of turns and I dared to feel a glimmer of hope.  Down in the south Richard moved troops up next to my tank and started dusting off panzerfausts.  I reversed out of there as quickly as I could and fortunately the panzerfaust missed.

Things don't look too bad except for the yawning gap in the south.  That's bad, quite bad

In the south Richard moved up to deal with what was my one remaining squad in the area and to show he meant business he rolled a zrinyi up to blow car sized holes in the building walls.  I forgot the game for a moment and sent my T34 on a zrinyi killing mission.  With an 85mm gun against papier mache armour this was successful and the zrinyi exploded into a satisfying ball of flame.  It probably wasn't the most tactically brilliant thing I've ever done though as Richard marched a 347 up next to my tank and then killed it in close combat.  My sole squad in the south was now truly on its own. Which wasn't the only bad news as Richard used smoke to inveigle his way into the next building along and wiped out most of the occupants in close combat.  Those who weren't dead were choking on smoke which at least prevented them from seeing what was coming next.

The south is looking worse by the second.  But on the other hand so is the north

What was coming next was the pride of Hungary's armoured forces.  Both zrinyis tiptoed and insinuated themselves around behind the building and positioned themselves to dash for the victory building beyond.  I rearranged the deck chairs on the Titanic and hoped for the best.

It had taken a bit of time and cost Richard some casualties (principally by sniper.  Richard was a bit annoyed but all he had to do was stop rolling threes) but now the Hungarians were ready and poised to reclaim the communicable diseases ward so cruelly torn from their grasp.  

Richard is ready to go for the win.  I'm ready to go home

I managed to put things off for one more turn by sneaking the one squad not already in the hospital a little closer to the action.  I fired at his stack that held, (among other things) the 6+1 prisoner he had taken earlier and gained a 1MC, guess who was the only one that suffered.  Yep.  

The zrinyis meanwhile were now in the backfield ensuring that my troops in the building had nowhere to run, or at least nowhere to run that wasn't acquired by 105mm howitzers at point blank range.  It was all a little more whimper than bang to be honest.  I broke a couple of squads in the penultimate fire phase but Richard had sufficient troops near the building that he didn't even have to challenge my troops for close combat, he could just move in to the unoccupied hexes.  So victory to Richard in the very last turn.  I credit lucky CC rolls and an active sniper for making him take that long.  Thanks to Richard for the game, I shall now slink off and lick my wounds and possibly an iceblock.

End game, I have three unbroken squads in the building.  Richard is poised to move in about half a dozen

Major Kaleideskop crawled out of the convenient sewer he'd been hiding in and looked around for signs of life.  Specifically he looked around for non Hungarian signs of life.  Not finding any he slunk away towards his own lines and almost tripped over the tanker he met earlier who was hiding under a bush.  

"That didn't go well," said the tanker conversationally.  "I guess if I'd spent all that money on electric lights I'd want to recapture it too."

"Bloody students," muttered Kaleideskop, "what are they doing?"

"I think its called a keg stand."