Plague Update #15 - Special Puffin Edition

Certain parents who shall remain nameless raised what I thought were quite insulting queries as to my sanity and general mental wellbeing after reading about my chats with what they thought was an imaginary puffin.  I can assure them and everybody else that the puffin is quite real, his name is Tristan (because Isolde is a stupid name for a puffin, that's why).  To further bolster the case for my own sanity I have taken the extraordinary step of secretly photographing him and posting the evidence below.

I hope this clears up any lingering doubts about my sanity and allows me to get back to training my cactus in interpretive dance in peace.

While I was proving my mental condition the nation was celebrating Easter COVID-19 style.  That is most of us stayed home and ate chocolate.  Some of us are finding it harder to distinguish between government mandated lockdowns and what we refer to as our lives.  The news in Australia continues to be cautiously encouraging except in Tasmania where a couple of hospitals have been closed (or possibly just fallen down) and a number of new cases have been recorded, primarily among healthcare workers at said hospitals.  I tried contacting my correspondent for an update but coloured paint and melted chocolate started dribbling out of the monitor so I severed the connection.

With infection rates flattening the government has swung into its next stage which largely consisted of telling us why it isn't a good idea to lift the restrictions just yet.  Simultaneously they are encouraging everyone who possibly can to give blood.  I'm tempted to do it so I have a legitimate reason to get out of the house.  The only other alternative is a self sealing plastic bag and a craft knife so I can mail it from home.  While I do have both of those items I am unfortunately out of stamps.

Overseas the number of Australians cluttering up various foreign countries is continuing to drop as charter flights are laid on to evacuate such of my fellow citizens who managed to leave the country before all of this started.  Britain, Peru, Uruguay these are only some of the countries whose major export has suddenly become Australians fleeing home.

Also overseas, Tim Brooke-Taylor has died of COVID-19.  It really is unfair to single out one person among the vast numbers of dead for special treatment but I was a huge Goodies fan when I was younger. 

In Victoria the police have found the new "social distancing" laws to be a godsend as it enables them to crack down on bikie gangs.  Presumably the hope is that paying all the fines will bankrupt the gangs whose members will have to get jobs as library assistants to make ends meet.  It's a foolish dream, people aren't going to libraries either.  One job that is flourishing in these difficult times is home delivery alcohol.  Some of us aren't going to need to go out for a drink for years.  On the other hand my resolution to not start drinking before ten in the morning is only being maintained because I'm rarely awake by then.  COVID-19 is going to have long lasting health implications, principal among them serious liver damage.