Here it Comes, There it Goes

Big news in cetacean circles.  A new species of whale has been discovered!  Unfortunately its been discovered off the coast of Japan which must be rather like discovering a new species of tiger outside a Chinese medicine shop.  Still at present researchers and professional whale pesterers of all stripes are currently enjoying that brief period of excitement between the whale's discovery and its almost inevitable extinction.

According to an expert at a Japanese natural history museum (and co-owner of the Happy Harpoon seafood restaurant) the new species is about six to seven metres long, dark in colour and goes well with lotus root and bamboo shoots.  The species was first noticed some time ago by local whalers but in an attempt to avoid the bitter demarcation disputes which have long characterised oceanic studies the whalers restricted themselves to just harpooning them and left the naming to the scientific community.

It is, of course, totally inaccurate to speak of a "new" species of whale.  This particular type of whale (Berardius Minimus if you're interested) has no doubt been swimming the oceans for as long as any other type.  It's just that it's taken this long for it to come to the attention of any human being whose immediate reaction wasn't to carve it up for sushi.  In fact the whales might have maintained their anonymity indefinitely if they had been somewhat better at navigation.  Despite the comments of local whalers the scientific community didn't really notice them until they tripped over a half dozen or so that had attempted to swim up a beach.

Suddenly the world was stunned to hear that there was a new species of whale, or at least there was until the only six specimens known to science died on a Japanese beach.  Meanwhile the whalers rolled their eyes, sharpened their harpoons and decided it probably wasn't worth mentioning the giant kraken they encountered the other week.

The appearance, however brief, of previously undiscovered whales has made the usual people giddy with excitement.  Various marine scientists have gone on the record to point out that it just goes to show how much there is still to learn about our oceans and how terribly thrilling it all is.  At least there is still a lot to learn about our oceans if you don't speak to fishermen.  I rather suspect that this omission is deliberate.  It must get a little tedious if every time you announce the discovery of a new species some grubby tramp in a pullover and heavy boots who probably didn't even go to university points out that he's been catching, frying and eating this new discovery for years.

For now though let us join with the scientists and revel in the fact that there are still things to discover and animals not yet known.  No doubt the bodies of the six whales will be examined from all angles to see if there's anything else that can be learnt about this new species.  Look out for the breathless announcement that they've discovered a new species of aquatic plastic bag that lives in the whale's stomache.