Some Changes Are In Order

The new year has burst among us all fresh and shiny and I have hit the ground running!  At least I've definitely hit the ground and my legs are kicking feebly.  I'm within ninety degrees of running at any event.  As the final few months count down towards the anniversary of my first half century on this planet I have decided that some changes are in order.

Bubbling with enthusiasm I contacted my tech support who were slowly emerging from a Christmas themed hangover (deck the halls with gouts of vomit, fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la).  Seriously if anyone wants to invade Belarus you just missed your best window of opportunity.  I was pleased to see that despite their dubious physical state my team were hard at work studying what appeared to be an anatomy project of some kind.

"Big news guys," I announced. "I have decided to live every day as if its my last!"

They were surprisingly enthusiastic.

"Excellent idea, seize the day all that kind of stuff.  Brilliant!"

"Thanks, what are you looking at?"

"Your latest medical report."

I let them in on my plans, they always like to know my travel itinerary and they usually have the illegal immigrants and Moldavian sex workers out of my flat by the time I get home.

"In July I'm going to Thailand, Malaysia and Singapore," I announced.  They frowned and studied the report a little more.

"Thailand and Malaysia are probably doable.  I wouldn't set your heart on Singapore though."

The news about Singapore was a little disappointing but I refused to let it spoil my mood.  The year beckoned, shiny and new and I was bubbling over with optimism.  Admittedly a certain amount of that enthusiasm was due to the fact that I'm now comfortably certain I'm going to die before the world finally goes to hell but it is enthusiasm nonetheless.

"Tell me guys, what are your plans for the new year."

"Sorry, that's classified, we could tell you but then we'd have to kill you."

They took another look at the medical report, shrugged their shoulders and told me anyway.  I can't tell you what they said but suffice it to say 2019 is one year that's going to go out with a bang, possibly in August.

In the meantime there is a blog to maintain and it has to be admitted I've been scraping to find things to put in it of late.  Bursting with pride I told my tech support of my plan to redress this situation.

"Light rail," I announced and waited for them to applaud.  They didn't applaud, instead they brought up a scan of my brain and started peering at it with worried expressions on their faces.  "Haven't you ever heard of light rail?"

"Of course we have, Minsk is crawling with trams and trolley buses.  What's your point?"

"We have a light rail line in Sydney, we might have another one in fifty years or so.  I'm going to get off at each stop, wander around and write a blog entry about it."  Silence greeted this momentous news.  "Guys, say something."

"Look, precisely three people currently read your blog, do you really want to drive them away?"

"If they haven't gone already their boredom threshold must be pretty high.  Besides I have little choice.  Such creativity and inspiration as I might once have possessed has long since run dry.  I can't keep on hoping for natural disasters in Tasmania to peak people's interest."

"You probably can," they replied.  "As a matter of fact we can help with that.  If you start raving on about light rail you're on your own."