He's Hurt! Somebody Call an Ambulant

Something has been concerning me about my workplace in recent months.  Whenever I go to the bathroom (something happening a little more frequently as my prostate gets even less interested in its job than I am in mine) I notice a rather large cubicle bulking at the end of the row.  On the door is a sign "Male Ambulant Toilet".

I have to admit this confused me for quite a while.  I actually thought an ambulant was a sort of fleshy plant of the cactus variety.  I knew we had an equal opportunity employment policy but we do tend to stick within our own species.  Even if we didn't I wasn't aware that a cactus needed a specially large toilet cubicle.  Consumed with curiosity I couldn't help peeking inside to see what sort of toilet facilities your standard office working cactus could expect to enjoy.

I was a little disappointed to discover it was basically a disabled toilet.  Apparently ambulant didn't mean what I thought it did (or possibly a cactus needs a rail to hold on to).  Some hasty research on wikipedia told me that an ambulant was somebody who could walk.  Even in today's climate that seemed to be stretching the definition of disability to its limits but a closer look informed me that there was a certain implication that while walking was possible it wasn't perhaps to be taken for granted in quite the same way as a non ambulant person would.

So, to clarify; a non ambulant is a person who has no problems walking.  An ambulant is somebody who does have problems walking, at least theoretically, you certainly wouldn't bet on them in a marathon for example.  Such people are granted a cubicle to themselves.  The genuinely crippled can just piss themselves at their desk same as always.

The men's toilet isn't particularly large but even so I do have to query the wisdom of placing the toilet cubicle for those who have difficulty walking right at the end.  Just inside the door would appear to be a kinder option if you really are worried about whether the subjects legs will actually get them to their destination.  I'm also a little curious about the necessity of putting the word "male" on a door deep inside the men's toilets.  If you've got past the door saying "Men" and walked passed the urinals and you still think you're in the women's toilets you have more problems than merely being ambulant.

I don't know from personal experience (honest officer) but I'm sure that the women's toilet will also have a cubicle set aside for those with a limp.  I can't help wondering if that cubicle helpfully informs the nearsighted ambulant that they have to be female to proceed any further.  I also wonder what happens if an ambulant gets that far, reads the sign and goes, "Damn!" and promptly hobbles out to find the other toilet.  Presumably the cubicle in the men's is for ambulants who are male, ambulants who identify as male and males who identify as ambulants.

Having an ambulant toilet cubicle is actually a blessing.  It's big and roomy so its ideal for changing into my soccer gear before running around a field in a distinctly non ambulant fashion.  I don't think I've ever encountered an ambulant going in or out of it but since its always being used by people changing for exercise they probably just can't get there in time.  You know, what with being ambulants and all.  Fortunately there are three other cubicles they can use, all of which are closer to the door.