Beware! The Calves are Massing

The iceberg menace has returned!  For years I've been warning about the dangers of these floating, frozen death machines and now my predictions have been proved true.  Or at least they might prove true if the wind doesn't change.

Once upon a time it was only wandering ocean liners and the occasional scientific expedition that had to worry about icebergs.  Of course each incident was a tragedy but the death toll was well within the human capacity to replace.  As Napoleon said, "one Parisian night will soon adjust these losses."  Memo to the denizens of Paris; start planning a night in.  A monster iceberg is swooping down on Greenland and honest citizens are fleeing in terror.

I've got to admit I was a little surprised at all of the concern.  For all intents and purposes the inhabitants of Greenland live on an iceberg.  However it would appear that my sang froid can mostly be attributed to the fact that I live a long way from Greenland.  The inhabitants of the village of Innaarsuit woke up one morning to find a floating mountain of ice towering over their dwellings.  According to a local representative children are being urged to higher ground and nobody is staying unnecessarily close to the beach.  This is Greenland, I'm pretty sure that nobody would be staying unnecessarily close to the beach in any event.  I'm sure the island has its sun worshippers but they will be more of the "please come back" variety than the "I'm going down to the beach to catch some rays" kind.  The only inhabitants likely to spend a lot of time on the beach are walruses.

For the record it has to be said that the population of Innaarsuit aren't afraid that the iceberg will charge ashore and start laying waste to the countryside.  Rather, they're afraid that bits will break off and slide into the sea causing tsunamis that will flood the place.  This is the thing about Greenland.  You tend to be pretty relaxed about water in its frozen state.  Its the liquid stuff that you've really got worry about.  At the moment they're standing on high ground peering anxiously at the iceberg hoping it stays in one piece.

If it stays in one piece then a decent wind will blow it out to sea where it can be an appropriate menace to navigation without actually impacting anyone who isn't asking for it by fooling about in a sea full of icebergs.  If it rains then the iceberg may melt and calve.  Calving is a technical term meaning "bits will fall off".  I'm surprised they didn't go with "rot" or "proudly manufactured in Australia".  I have to wonder how many people in Greenland have seen a cow.

Global warming is apparently contributing to the influx of icebergs menacing low lying areas of Greenland but on the other hand it has also contributed to the beginnings of a dairy industry on the island, something that hasn't been possible for several centuries.  The beginnings are modest of course, with only a couple of dozen cows but if the temperature keeps rising it is entirely possible that the long suffering inhabitants of Innaarsuit will have calves coming at them from all directions.