Silly After Action Report

"Junior Officer!  Junior Officer!!"  Oberst von Kattelrussler stared around in irritation.  "Damn the man, what's happened to him?"  A familiar figure failed to evade his line of vision, "Ah von Kummerbund.  Where the hell is Junior Officer?  I need a sample of his lung tissue."

Major von Kummerbund looked at the long handled, none too clean tongs his commander was holding and decided not to ask.  Instead he controlled his temper as best he could.

"Junior Officer, sir, died like a hero fighting incredible odds while you were wrestling a beech tree."

"Oh yes, that's right.  So, I guess no lung tissue then.  Wait a minute what about his replacement?"

"We don't have one yet sir.  Do you remember that massive burst of firing that broke out all along the line the other day?  We all thought it was another Polish counterattack."

"What about it?" demanded von Kattelrussler.

"It turns out it was every junior officer in the army shooting themselves in the foot to avoid being posted here."

Von Kattelrussler thought for a moment, scratching his head with the tongs.

"I know, take out an ad in the local paper.  Junior Officer required for elite army regiment.  Applicants must be young, fit and prepared to travel.  Loyalty to the Greater German Reich preferred.  Healthy lungs essential.  Oh and point out that the German army is an unequal opportunity employer."

"I'm sure that will go down well in the Warsaw Gazette.  Getting back to the war for just a moment sir do you happen to know what our next assignment is?"

Von Kattelrussler wasn't listening, he was staring at something over von Kummerbund's left shoulder.  Pointing he asked,  "What on earth is that?"

Von Kummerbund turned, "It appears to be an entire Polish armoured regiment charging in this direction."

"Well carry on von Kummerbund.  I'll pop back to the rear area and see if there's any news."

This is ASL Scenario BFP 130 which involves a scratch bunch of Germans defending against a Polish counterattack supported by a large but rather eclectic bunch of armour.  Ivan "the Bane of Neil's existence" Kent will command the defending Germans while I shall attempt to lead this Polish Panzerkeil to victory.

To achieve this no doubt inevitable victory I have fourteen first line infantry squads guided by three officers with a trio of medium machine guns and an anti tank rifle for no other reason than because I think the scenario designer has an unhealthy obsession with them.  Providing mechanical noises are nine armoured fighting vehicles of various types.  A pair of dinky little TKS tanks with a trivial machine gun, a couple of decrepit armoured cars, one of those awesome tanks carrying a pair of hmgs in twin turrets and four pretty decent tanks mounting 37 and 47mm guns.  Still its a pretty heterogeneous bunch and it would take skill to use them properly.

To defend Ivan starts out with eight first line squads, a pair of leaders, a 75mm gun, a medium machine gun and (with more than usual relevance) an anti tank rifle.  Starting on turn three Ivan can bring on his reinforcements, four more first line squads, two more officers and three half tracks each towing a gun; two 47mm AT guns (don't laugh, they're genuine tank killers at this stage of the war) and an 88mm AA gun which seems just a little over the top.

This is the set up.  I have to push through the Germans, get across the creek and capture the buildings on the other side.  I had a plan which I really should have stuck to.  I kept back my best tanks and set up the two little TKS clunkers at the top.  The plan was to use these to plunge through the trees and create trail breaks for the remaining armour to follow.  The bulk of my infantry (shepherded by an armoured car and another tank) would come through the centre and hit the German defences while a single tank and a handful of troops would keep Ivan busy in the bottom.

Things went well (harbinger of doom).  The two TKSs rolled forwards and obediently created the required trail breaks while the bulk of my infantry pushed forward in the centre.  Ivan revealed a squad with the anti tank rifle in the woods but the TKS are so damn small its difficult to hit them.  Sadly I was seduced by ephemeral success at the bottom.  My tank rolled forward and I took some risks with my infantry and concluded (correctly) that his defences down there were largely dummies.

So far, so good.

This seemed to be an opening and I changed my plans and decided to bring my remaining tanks down along the bottom and plough through the stream.  I had fond dreams of establishing my tanks near the victory buildings before Ivan could either retreat his main force or bring on his reinforcements.  Of course Ivan had anticipated this and had placed his 75mm gun to cover this approach.  He actually let my lead tank splash through the stream and roll up next to the gun before revealing himself to hit the more formidable tanks coming behind.  I still wasn't terribly worried, I had three tanks in position and he had one gun.  I might lose a tank but I figured I could take out the gun and then the way would be cleared.  Ivan took out two tanks in the first fire phase (honestly does he ever get punished for intensive fire?) and suddenly I had precisely one tank left parked right next to his gun.

Things are about to go to hell down the bottom.  Meanwhile despite armoured support my infantry are getting nowhere

Over in the village my infantry were making heavy weather of getting forward due to the fact that I was finding it difficult to hurt his infantry inside the stone buildings.  Suddenly bereft of a role my little TKS tanks decided to at least put the fear of god into Ivan.  I rolled them round behind his defences.  At first I just intended to block rout paths but then I realised I could at least get these guys into back play and threaten his reinforcements so they charged boldly across the river into the orchard.

Ivan's gun towing halftracks have arrived but my TKS tanks will be coming to meet them

Meanwhile Ivan had simply ignored the tank sitting next to his gun and had turned it around to shoot into the rear of my armour still attempting to help my infantry into the village.  I had rolled a tank into bypass on a building hex to lock up the troops there.  Ivan promptly immobilised it with the 75 but the crew stayed in and I finally managed to get some troops up close and personal.  I think I fumbled the infantry moves a bit but I finally accumulated a decent amount of firepower and was systematically dismantling his garrison.  I was also systematically dismantling medium machine guns.  I managed to malf and then break two of my three in successive fire and rally phases.  Just for the record while Ivan's 75mm was tearing my tank force apart the tank sitting next to him was blasting away at him for all he was worth, he just wasn't getting any results.

Things seem to have slowed down a little

Ivan brought on his troops and half tracks and my reception committee proved incapable of stopping them from getting where they needed to go.  He sent the two 47mm guns down the bottom of the board and looped the 88mm up around the top to cover the bridge.  His infantry reinforcements ignored my pathetic 2FP shots from the TKS and made it to the victory buildings.  But one of my TKS was about to cover itself in glory.  In a manner of speaking.

Things look good, briefly

Still I was grinding slowly forward in the village backed by remaining armour (one tank and two armoured cars) and finally I managed to break the crew of his damn 75mm thus releasing my tank down there to charge for the victory locations.  Sadly it was a turn too late.  Ivan had positioned a 47mm gun to guard the approaches and when a snake eyes shot killed the crew he promptly moved the other 47mm into the same location.  I had plans, however, for the 88.  Relying on the difficulty in hitting the little TKS I rolled the pair of them around behind the 88.  Or rather I rolled one of them because despite the difficulty in hitting them Ivan managed to take one of them out with an anti tank rifle immediately.  The other trundled up to his 88 and overran it.  For no result.  Ivan then fired from within his own hex and reduced the TKS to flaming scrap.  Which meant that the 88 would now be firing out of smoke for the rest of the scenario.  Posthumous decorations are already in the mail to family members of the crew.

I started feeling hopeful again.  I had pretty much cleared the garrison and surely I had enough armour left to shepherd my infantry across the bridge and into the victory buildings.  Sadly that evil bitch close combat was about to ruin my hopes.  I looked to clear out his remaining troops by overwhelming them with superior numbers in close combat.  You know how this goes.  He managed to slaughter a bunch of my troops with a mere handful of his.  The absolute prize going to the officer who took out a half squad single handed and suddenly I was thin on the ground and running out of time.

I'm in position or would be if it wasn't for the CC

Fresh from its overly prolonged struggle with the 75mm my tank rolled up to his 47mm gun and was reduced to scrap (in fairness there was little else I could do, in honesty I had forgotten the damn thing was there).  Still it provided me with a little cover and I rolled my machine gun tank across the bridge to give a little more protection.  So Ivan's 88 fired out of smoke and killed it.  Nevertheless I was getting a decent amount of steel protection for my advance.  Sadly interminable close combats had eaten up the time to the point where I couldn't take a cautious approach.  To be blunt I simply charged forward.  It didn't really need Ivan's predilection for rolling threes when he needs them to turn my surge into a bloody mess but by that time it was little more than a forlorn hope anyway.  When his 88 managed to get a critical hit on one of my squads despite firing out of smoke I took the hint and conceded.

Underneath the acquisition counter and in the stream is a mess of shattered troops that mark the end of my dreams

I made a couple of mistakes in this one (although strangely I don't think overrunning an 88 with a TKS was one of them).  I should have stuck to my original plan which might have put a formidable amount of armour in the rear area.  Even so I think this is rather tough on the Poles.  They have a fair way to go and quite a bit of opposition to overcome.  Next week I'm taking the Germans who are defending against another Polish attack.  I'm honestly starting to think Poland invaded Germany.

Major von Kummerbund watched as the remnants of the Polish force limped off the battlefield.  A smoke grimed gefreiter (let's face it the regiment only has one) limped up to him and saluted.

"They're pulling back sir."

"Excellent, where's the oberst?"

Wordlessly the gefreiter pointed to where a Polish tank was burning furiously, strangely there was an AA gun positioned directly underneath it.  Oberst von Kattelrussler stumbled out of the smoke in a badly charred uniform.  Strangely losing his eyebrows hadn't made him look any more unusual.

"Bit of luck my running into these guns while I was inspecting the supply lines wasn't it?" he said cheerily.  Behind him the crew of the AA gun had abandoned their position and were attempting to put out the flames on their uniforms. 

"Yes sir," replied von Kummerbund evenly.  "And may I commend you on their positioning."  As if the emphasise his point there was a dull roar as flames reached the ammunition stacked around the AA gun.

Von Kattelrussler blinked, "Oh dear, I hope they didn't want that back."