Shooting Kittens For Food: Silly After Action Report - Part 1: No Poison Gas and the Enemy Have Guns!!

In September 1940 the Italian 10th army under the overall command of Marshal Rodolfo Graziani invaded Egypt. It would rate as the most botched invasion in history if the Italians hadn't provided it with competition elsewhere. Graziani (with fair justification) felt his army was in no shape to conduct such an offensive and only agreed when Mussolini threatened to sack him. After a few modest gains the Italians sat down and waited for the British to annihilate them. This the British obligingly did.

The British counteroffensive smashed that part of the Italian army that had made it into Egypt and then pursued into Libya, capturing Bardia, Tobruk and staggering numbers of Italian soldiers along the way. Graziani whose reputation had been made beating up tribesmen and Ethiopians with the aid of poison gas went from gloomy to downright panic stricken. From his headquarters in Benghazi he ordered a full retreat and set an example by flying out to Tripoli leaving the entire mess in the hands of his chief of staff General Tellera. One can't help feeling a little sorry for General Tellera, he taken over a beaten army whose commander had simply screamed "Run for your lives!" as he headed for the airport. Dutifully General Tellera organised a panic stricken retreat despite the fact that in their new defensive positions the Italians had so far managed to hold the British off.

The British who were still outnumbered despite the number of prisoners they had taken realised they needed to destroy the Italians completely. If the army escaped more or less intact it would be a constant threat to the slender British forces. With this in mind they sent a small blocking force through the desert to cut the road behind the Italians. The Italians, looking over their shoulders for potential pursuers, ran slap into it.

Naturally those parts of the army first in the retreat were those least likely to be battleworthy and this collection of rubbish launched a series of disjointed attacks for a full day with whatever troops happened to be at hand and were beaten back piecemeal. Finally General Tellera did what he should have done at the start. He grabbed all his remaining tanks and artillery firepower plus such of the infantry as remained battleworthy and, climbing into a tank, led the whole lot in a final full scale attempt to break through.

This is the big one. ASL Scenario 58, Ci Arrendiamo. Here I shall take the place of General Tellera leading my Italian forces in an all out assault on the well entrenched British. I have a staggering array of forces at my command. Six M13/40 tanks, two M11/39 tanks, two armoured cars, four L3/35 light tanks, an L3 flamethrower variant, a pair of Milmart gun trucks each carrying a 75mm artillery piece. For infantry I have six squads of bersaglieri mounted on motorcycles and fifteen squads of truck mounted first line infantry carrying a trio of small mortars and a couple of medium machine guns. Plus I have 70mm off board artillery. What could possibly stand in the way of all this firepower?

Italian tank crew, obviously the elite of the Italian military. Behind them an M13/40, rubbish but the best I've got

To answer that question permit me to introduce Ivan Kent commanding the British. He has ten and a half first line British squad equivalents, most of them nestled in foxholes, two 37mm antitank guns mounted en portee on the backs of trucks, a trio of armoured cars and two twenty five pounder artillery pieces. The infantry come equipped with anti tank rifles, mortars and light machine guns. There are also minefields both anti personnel and anti tank. Ivans force is huddled among sand dunes awaiting the inevitable Italian storm. In between the sand dunes, covering the road is a monstrous stack lurking in a three squad foxhole. Their job is obviously to cover the road.

My objective is quite simple, I have to wipe the British out. Italian casualties don't matter, all that matters is that I wipe out 45 VPs worth of British. This means virtually all of them.

It wouldn't be an Italian scenario without a faithful L3/35. The Italian high command considered them a front line battle tank. Everyone else mistook them for Dinky toys.

My plan, like myself, was simple. The trucks carrying the infantry would roll down the road but would stop out of the range of most of his weapons. The armour (most of it in the west but with a diversionary force of L3s and M11s in the east would approach his front lines and start shooting them up. Meanwhile my artillery would attempt to take out his guns and soften up his position somewhat.

The first few turns were light on firing but involved an inordinate amount of moving as the Italians shuffled slowly (and possibly reluctantly) onto the board. The armoured cars rolled down the road until they came under fire and then stopped. Both portees had been set up covering the road and each of them attacked an armoured car. A nasty explosion later and I was short one armoured car. To the west of the road my M13s moved forward side by side while in the east the L3s defied expectations by doing the same. Meanwhile an unholy traffic jam was piling up behind the armoured cars. Somewhere around the place there are a whole bunch of mines but without engineers my only way of discovering them is to roll over them.

My M13/40s charge (very slowly) forward thinking small thoughts and trying to look like gerboas.

The first spotting round from my artillery was hopelessly wide but with the portees now revealed I took the opportunity to correct it right next to them. In two phases the artillery would destroy both portees and I must admit I was feeling somewhat cock a hoop. They were worth valuable victory points but more importantly my tanks felt a lot safer with them gone. Then at a range of twenty six hexes one of his 25 pounders destroyed an M13. Maintaining rate it then destroyed and burnt another. A third of my most potent tank force gone!! I screamed, I whimpered, I swore. I made hasty pacts with various deities that I normally don't give houseroom to and carried on.

Meanwhile in the rear my bersaglieri mounted motorcycles were nervously threading their way through hammada positioning themselves to take advantage of an overrun that looked less and less likely to happen. Over on the east side of the board my L3s had arrived at Ivan's position and in defiance of all rational probability managed to break an antitank rifle wielding halfsquad. My diversionary force is doing some diverting as Ivan has sent an armoured car trundling up to support his troops. Normally an armoured car vs a tank would be no contest but these are L3s, the armoured car is actually bigger than they are and better armed. To the right of the L3s the M11s (a vehicle which skillfully combines the disadvantages of both the L3 and the M13) tiptoed nervously closer to the enemy as well.

How do you make an M11/39? Stick a gun on an L3 and then mount some machine guns in a little boxy turret in case the thing wasn't easy enough to hit already.

As the third turn ends I have taken a trio of vehicle losses including two precious M13s. My vulnerable (and not terribly brave) infantry are still huddled on their trucks hoping Ivan is more interested in shooting tanks than them. On the plus side both portees are destroyed, a squads worth of British infantry has been broken and the smoke from a burning tank and a burning portee is providing a little more cover than there was at the start of the game. My armour is up at his forward defences and if I can persuade my artillery to be a little more accurate I may yet have a chance. We resume the game on Friday and I suspect it will be movement light and combat heavy. Ivan, fear the Italians! They are coming for you!!