Nation Building for Fun and Profit

I've started to read a modern history of Liechtenstein.  For those of you who don't know Liechtenstein is a country in Europe about the size of a football field.  It is the only country in the world actually named after the people who own it (the Liechtenstein family).  On the rare occasions when it impinges on international consciousness its generally in the context of tax evasion and money laundering which is grossly unfair, they also make false teeth.

Liechtenstein must be the only country which exists largely as an effort in social climbing.  The Liechtensteins were a wealthy noble family with vast estates in Austria and what is now the Czech republic.  For centuries they were high in the favour of the Habsburg emperors and provided their imperial masters with a long succession of talented if not exactly altruistic administrators, soldiers and advisors.

One thing escaped the Liechtenstein family, however.  They dearly wanted to be made Princes of the Empire.  The princely title would elevate them above the common ruck of fabulously wealthy nobility and grant them a seat in the imperial diet (a shambling debating forum which served the empire as a sort of parliamentish type thingy).  Eager to get loyal advisors into the diet the emperor was sympathetic but unfortunately the entrance requirements were quite strict.  To be a prince of the empire a nobleman had to hold territory directly from the emperor (ie without any other feudal lords in between) and for all their vast estates the Liechtensteins didn't.  The emperor implied that if this lack could be remedied he would sign the documentation tomorrow.

So the Liechtensteins looked around for some patch of territory they could acquire which had the required qualification.  Just to the east of Switzerland were a couple of minor counties held by a not particularly prominent noble family called the Hohenems.  The counties were remote, poor and virtually irrelevant on a political, social and economic level but by a series of dynastic coincidences there was no intervening nobleman between the Hohenems counts and the emperor.  Another factor in the territories favour was that its rulers were absolutely broke.  The region was thinly populated and didn't provide sufficient revenue to maintain even the most modest of noble houses.  The Liechtensteins opened their chequebooks.

In all fairness it must be acknowledged that this wasn't just a simple land grab.  The region had come down with a serious case of witchcraft.  Or rather it had come down with a serious case of witch trials.  Around ten percent of the population were burnt at the stake.  Even for a religious, superstition addled age this seemed excessive and an ecclesiastical investigation discovered that the count of Hohenems was a demented psychopath who was using the fact that he could seize the property of those found guilty of witchcraft in attempt to restore the family finances.  He was eased out and replaced by his less murderous (but equally broke) brother but the main problem remained.  The Hohenems were bankrupt and could not contribute anything towards their territories.  The ecclesiastical investigator suggested selling the counties if anyone could be found who was willing to pay a very large amount of money for an area that wasn't actually worth very much.  As I said before the Liechtensteins opened their cheque books.

With their newly acquired territories the Liechtensteins reported back to the emperor.  He then stitched the two counties together into the brand new principality of Liechtenstein and the family settled down to rule their new domain.  They settled down in Vienna of course rather than some windy alpine pasture of dubious value.  No Liechtenstein actually bothered visiting the place for a couple of centuries.  Then in 1806 as a response to the conquests of Napoleon the Holy Roman Empire was dissolved and Liechtenstein found itself accidentally independent.  They have been independent and technically neutral since that time although the family itself continued to serve the Hasburg emperors until the collapse of the monarchy.  A Liechtenstein actually served in the Austro-Hungarian navy in World War 1 (although Liechtenstein itself was supposedly neutral).

With the collapse of the final Habsburg empire in 1918 the Liechtensteins finally and with a certain sense of resignation turned up in their territory with nothing but the clothes they stood up in and several train wagon loads of jewels, precious works of art and money.  The inhabitants were probably somewhat surprised to see them.  Since that time the Liechtensteins have been ruling their pocket sized country despite the occasional hissy fit which led one prince to threaten to move back to Vienna if his plans for constitutional reform weren't approved and a low grade feud with the Czech Republic due to the confiscation of the much larger territories that the Liechtensteins once owned there during the days of communist rule which the currently democratically elected government has no intention of handing back.

I dearly want to go to Liechtenstein.  Although if this blog entry gets wide currency there I might discover my face on wanted posters when I arrive.