Birthday Greetings #54

Yes, another birthday greetings.  The last one was for Nero who ruled when the Roman empire was still shiny and new.  This one is for a third century ruler when the empire was starting to look distinctly frayed around the edges.  Our boy would patch it back together again, at least for his lifetime.

So, happy birthday to Diocletian, Roman emperor.  Diocletian had the traditional career path for a Roman emperor during the third century.  Low birth, military service, promotion to a position near the emperor who then conveniently died (of lightning strike according to Diocletian which seems unlikely as he wasn't playing golf at the time).  The emperor's son took over but shortly afterwards he came down with a serious case of death as well and with Diocletian hanging around looking professional and imperial there really wasn't any opposition. Well there was, the dead emperor had a brother and some other guy thought he'd try his chances as well but Diocletian swiftly stomped them flat and settled down to rule.

Ruling turned out to be a little difficult.  The last fifty years hadn't been good to the empire.  There had been twenty six "legitimate" emperors and any number of pretenders.  A legitimate emperor was pretty much a pretender who persuaded the senate to legitimise his revolt after the event.  The empire split up, fought countless civil wars, suffered barbarian invasions, plague and economic collapse.

Things had calmed down just a little by the time Diocletian added his name to the list of ambitious generals engaged in self promotion but things were still rather a mess.  Once in charge Diocletian beat up some troublesome barbarians (there were always some) and then took stock of what he had actually taken over.  What he had taken over was a surly, near bankrupt empire full of ambitious soldiers some of whom were already having themselves measured for purple robes.  In addition it was so damned big!  If there was a revolt in Britain (and there was always a revolt in Britain) it could be months before he heard about it.  If something happened in Armenia at the same time his only choice would be which threat he was going to ignore.

Diocletian came up with a unique solution.  The problem, he decided, was that Rome didn't have enough emperors.  It needed more, so they could be in the right places making decisions in something approximating real time and getting things done.  Without any sons of his own Diocletian promoted an old army buddy to the rank of Caesar making him official (although junior) co-emperor.  His name was Maximian and he was sent to take care of the western half of the empire while Diocletian headed east.  Diocletian fought the Sarmatians to a draw and beat the Persians.  Unfortunately Maximian wasn't doing so well in the west.

There had been another revolt in Britain.  This doesn't mean the British revolted.  For the most part they didn't really seem to care.  What it meant was that the Roman troops in Britain revolted.  In this case as a result of an anti piracy campaign gone badly wrong.  The guy Maximian sent out to stop the pirates turned out to be, well, a pirate.  He was keeping all the loot from captured pirate vessels for himself.  Maximian demanded that he explain himself whereupon he fled to Britain, raised the legions there in revolt and persuaded those in northern Gaul to follow suit.  Diocletian dropped in on Maximian who it is fair to say had some explaining to do of his own.

Obviously two emperors wasn't quite enough so Diocletian knocked up a couple more.  This was the Tetrarchy a brilliant solution to the empire's governance issues just as long as Diocletian was around to enforce it.  Maximian was raised to the level of Augustus (ie equal of Diocletian).  Then each of the now joint emperors took a junior partner whom they made Caesar.  Each emperor would rule a quarter of the empire but with the two junior emperors reporting to their superior and the two senior emperors consulting on all matters of interest to the state at large.  As his Caesar Diocletian took his son-in-law Galerius.  Maximian selected his own son-in-law (likely at Diocletian's strong suggestion) as his own Caesar and dropped the British revolt into his lap.  Possibly to his chagrin the son-in-law cleaned up the entire mess.

Diocletian meanwhile went back to the east where he fought another war (his third) against the Sarmatians and this time managed to beat them sufficiently to persuade them to keep out of the way for a few decades.  Then Galerius got himself badly spanked in a fresh war with Persia.  Diocletian may or may not have been present at the time but all the blame was dumped on Galerius.  The new method of imperial government did have its uses for the man at the top after all.  Galerius (and possibly Diocletian) eventually beat the Persians and settled down to persecute the Christians.

Christians irritated Roman emperors.  All that tedious "one god" crap.  It was bound to annoy all the other gods and it meant that the Christians refused to worship at the shrines of deified emperors which was pretty damn close to treason.  The Jews were just as bad but at least they'd been doing it for millennia (the Romans loved tradition), the Christians weren't even as old as the empire itself and they expected to be taken seriously as a religion.  Honestly they were just asking to be fed to various animals.

Despite a lion induced life expectancy shortage the Christians refused to go away.  They were weird, blasphemous and definitely unRoman.  Diocletian wanted none of them.  Neither it appeared did anybody else.  Tentatively Diocletian suggested that Christians be excluded from government positions.  Galerius suggested that they just kill them all.  Ultimately Diocletian went with option B.

One of the reasons for excluding Christians from the government was that suddenly there was a lot more government to exclude them from.  Diocletian's multiplication of emperors naturally led to a multiplication of bureaucracy as each of them needed staff.  More than this though Diocletian expanded and regularised the civil service.  Up until him the Roman empire had been possibly the least governed empire in history.  There had been an emperor, various governors and a handful of support staff for each.  This along with a certain number of legal officials and a whacking big army had been sufficient.  Nobody really expected the government to fight crime, educate children, promote trade or indeed do anything much at all.  The government made war, protected the citizens (from foreigners, not each other) and killed anyone who dissed the emperor, that was more or less it.  Now Diocletian as part of a deliberate policy built up a powerful bureaucratic machine.

The main purpose behind this policy was not to improve government but to exalt the person of the emperor by making him a remote, godlike figure beyond the ken of ordinary mortals.  With any luck that would stop people trying to kill him.  Diocletian dressed himself up in sumptuous robes, smothered himself in jewels, painted his face red and demanded that everybody kiss the hem of his clothing.  Apparently the Roman idea of a remote, godlike figure rather resembled an egocentric transvestite with more money than taste.  Reflecting on their gods for a moment they may well have nailed it.

Diocletian stabilised the empire after half a century of chaos.  He built the system which for better or worse would hold it together for a century and a half after he was dead (and for an extra thousand years in Byzantium).  He couldn't restore the economy but that was probably beyond his ability despite the fact that he didn't have any economists to get in his way.  He didn't wipe out the Christians either but they've proved to be a tediously resilient bunch over the centuries.

After twenty one years on the throne Diocletian introduced yet another innovation into Roman imperial politics.  He quit.  His system of government required the two senior emperors to retire after a time allowing the two junior emperors to step up and appoint their own juniors.  In such a way the empire would be ruled by an endless succession of mature competent men who had had on the job training.  This lasted about as long as you might expect.  Maximian, who Diocletian forced to retire with him, didn't wait long before coming out of retirement and bidding for his old job.  Meanwhile Maximian's replacement had died and his son was angling for his position.  Maximian's son wanted a piece of the action too.  History records that Constantine, the son of Maximian's junior colleague came out on top much to the relief of the public.  History records this because Constantine made damn sure he wrote it.

As for Diocletian, he turned his back on the chaos of Roman politics and spent his last days peacefully gardening at his palace in Split (now in Croatia).  He died quietly and without fanfare.  Constantine, who had become a sort of Christian, blackened his name but took over his structure of government pretty much intact.