Succulents Au Go Go

I recently wrote a blog entry that focussed on pot plants.  In keeping with my new role as a small scale social media whore I took a photo of a pot plant I own and posted it on Instagram with appropriate hashtags and links.  It just so happened that the pot plant in question was a cactus.  Somewhat to my surprise the photo received a number of "likes" from a bunch of cactus afficionados.  I've no idea if any of them actually went on to read the blog entry but just in case I thought I would dedicate an entry to all things xerophyte.

Firstly, a disclaimer; when I say "a pot plant I own" what I really mean is "a pot plant that lives rent free on my balcony".  It was there when I moved in about ten years ago and shows no signs of leaving.  In that time I have not watered it, tended it or cared for it in any way.  Until I took the photo my sole interaction with it was when I used it to hold my balcony door open (a role it enjoys to this day).  Despite this it appears to have thrived.  It actually needs repotting but I'm terrified to touch it in case the application of care upsets the delicate balance of neglect and the thing promptly dies.

As you can see my qualifications to talk about plants in general or cacti in particular are somewhat scanty.  As near as I can tell cacti exist solely for the purpose of giving buzzards something to sit on in a particular type of cartoon.  They are also noted for their ability to survive in regions not famous for their ability to support plant life, such as my balcony.  Yet another example of nature's utter inability to take a hint.

Cacti survive by storing such moisture as may be available in the fleshy parts of their body while downsizing such gaudy fripperies as leaves.  This enables them to survive in places where other plants can't.  The fact that no other plant in its right mind would want to survive there is apparently irrelevant.  Still, as winners in a competition nobody else bothered entering the humble cactus has gained iconic status.  Like camels and bleached cow skulls they are an immediately identifiable symbol of the desert.

Perhaps this stubborn determination to exist somewhere plants really shouldn't is what appeals to humans because as I recently discovered cacti are quite popular.  Organisations exist where cactus fanciers can meet others of their kind and exchange stories, photos and, presumably cuttings.  Although since these are cacti we're referring to possibly the term should be "spikings".  If one wants to get all official about it then let me refer you to the Cactus and Succulent Society of NSW Inc whose website proclaims them to be "one of Australia's oldest, largest and most dynamic cactus and succulent societies".  The implication firmly being that there is more than one.  In fact there is more than one.  For a more localised cactus experience try the Western Suburbs Cactus Club which meets on the third Friday of every month in Greystanes.

I can't help wondering if there is rivalry between the clubs, possibly an affection for one sort of cactus over another or differences on appropriate care techniques (my experience is that totally ignoring them works well).  Perhaps there is intense hatred with denunciations, insults, slander and honour killings.  After all, if you can't really call yourself a cactus lover if you aren't prepared to shed blood for the cause.  And if human history has taught us anything at all then it is that the respective merits of various cacti are one of the less stupid things we've been prepared to kill each other over.

As for myself I'm not really a club sort of person.  Besides if I went along to a cactus club they would ask questions like, "What sort of cactus is it?"  "How do you take care of it?" and "How does it handle the winter?".  In reality the only question I'm qualified to answer is "What sort of a doorstop does it make?"

A pretty good one actually.